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Chapter 4: The Heart That Won’t Drown in Despair
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They were walking an uncharted path.
They left Roland for Nelpha, then continued along the main road towards the north for a while. Then they veered pretty far off on side roads and continued to progress to the west. Then they left even those to push through weeds even taller than they were.
“…Hmgh.” Ryner’s arms were crossed and he was deep in thought.
Tiir was in front of him, pushing the weeds aside for them to walk through. “What have you been thinking so hard about these past few days?”
“Mmmmm.”
“What, you’re ignoring me? Er, I mean, look. Ryner, I know that you’ve had to mull over a lot of shocking truths since we’ve met, like you not being human and all. But I don’t think it’s a good thing for you to still be that worried about it.”
Ryner just looked up at the sky. “Hm hm hmm.”
Tiir sighed, then continued timidly. “Um… could you at least help me get through these weeds? We might make it there a little faster if you did… I guess we’re almost there, though…”
Ryner finally looked up and met Tiir’s eyes.
Relief washed through Tiir. “Ah, you’re finally going to talk to me—”
Ryner didn’t hear the rest. He was too focused on staring into Tiir’s eyes. His scarlet crosses. “Elemio…”
Tiir scowled. “That again? I don’t know what Elemio is. You’ve said it again and again, but… ah, is it the name of your lover?”
“Lover?”
Tiir looked like he’d finally been saved from the endless loop they’d been stuck in. “Finally! A reaction! I’m right then, aren’t I? So that’s your lover’s name…”
Ryner ignored Tiir again. He just stared back up at the sky. “Elemio… a lover… Yeah, it does kinda sound like a girly name.”
“Wait, it’s not your lover’s name? Then what… ugh, you’re just going to look back up at the sk—”
“Tiir.”
“Yes! Yes, let’s tal—”
“I’m kind of busy thinking things over, so can you be quiet for a while…?”
“What!?” Tiir said, but started to sulk once it set in. “Well, that’s okay… We’re going to be with the others soon anyway…”
They’d meet the others soon, huh? The other Alpha Stigma bearers… no, all the other Cursed Eye bearers. But if that was the case, then he really had to think about this now - the truth that he’d missed until now, the truth that’d finally fallen into the palm of his hands.
What were his eyes?
Ryner pressed an eyelid up with his fingers.
He was finally getting an idea of what they were.
He thought of the words that voice had spoken when he went berserk.
“You mean to kill me? Kill me with your current power? With items such as Elemio’s? You are nothing but a worm crawling on the ground. Ha, hahaha, hahahahaha. Disappear. disappear. DISAPPEAR. Everything is nothing. Idle. Return to nothing.”
“Elemio…”
“That again…? If it’s not a woman, then I suppose it’s a man. Are you gay, then?” Tiir asked. He sounded tired of the topic altogether.
But it wasn’t a human’s name. At least, Ryner didn’t think so.
He believed it was part of the name of one of those spies from Gastark’s weapon’s. Sui’s. He’d called it Elemio’s Comb. He didn’t know what it did, though, since Ryner’s berserk powers had destroyed it without him ever getting to use it… It was probably a Heroic Relic, though.
“You mean to kill me? Kill me with your current power? With items such as Elemio’s?”
The monster in his Alpha Stigma seemed to know. Not just the name Elemio, but what it did, too.
It made him think. What if his eyes were a kind of relic too?
“……”
Ryner’s expression clouded over. He crossed his arms.
“…That’d just deepen the mystery…”
“I think you’re the mystery here, Ryner…”
Ryner ignored Tiir’s exhausted voice. He had something far more important to worry about - that voice.
“With items such as Elemio’s?”
What about that part?
The voice had been referring to the comb. Or the power inside the comb. That or… maybe there was someone inside the comb. Someone who went by the name Elemio.
“…Is there a minor god in there or something? Man, if that isn’t straight out of a fairy tale…”
His two possible conclusions were very different - the comb simply had a strange power, or it held a minor god which gave it its power.
The same went for his eyes.
He might be the monster… or it might be something, someone inside of him that sometimes woke to kill.
Its voice descended.
“A god. A demon. An evil god. A hero. A monster. What did you guys call me? What was I called? Hahahah.”
It fell into him.
“In the beginning, there was destruction. We didn’t create, bless, or save. We just erased until everything was pure white.”
It echoed in his head even though he didn’t want to hear it.
That’s why he’d thought it was his own voice. The voice of a monster gone mad. But Tiir said he heard it, too. The voice wasn’t just Ryner’s.
It had echoed through Tiir’s mind while he was still in the womb.
“Kill the original prey. Devour those lowly humans.”
Tiir took it as divine orders.
Kill the humans. Kill your precious, beloved people. Destroy everything.
But…
“Who are you…?”
Who was ordering them?
Tiir whipped around, shocked. “Huh? I’m Tiir Rumibul. I introduced myself a while ago…”
“No no no, I’m not talking to you,” Ryner said, flustered.
“You’re not…? Then…” Tiir looked around, restless. No one else was with them. After confirming that, he suddenly thought of another possibility. “R-Ryner, you aren’t on drugs, are you?”
“I don’t do that stuff. Seriously.”
“Then your hallucinations are—”
“I’m not hallucinating.”
“Ryner, you shouldn’t do this stuff. Drugs are something those inferior humans do, not us—”
“I just told you that I don’t do drugs!” Ryner yelled.
Tiir still seemed worried. “Well, if you say so. Because if you did, we’d need to wait for all the drugs to leave your system before seeing the others.” He turned back to the weeds to push through some more. “We’re almost there. We’re almost to the others.”
Ryner looked up, over the weeds. They’d been walking through them without a path for the past two days. Now there was finally a sight of life through the weeds - a little cabin had come into view. “Mh? All the Cursed… I mean, God’s Eye bearers fit nice and snug in one cabin?”
Tiir looked deeply moved by happiness. “Finally… finally, you’ve asked me a normal question…!”
“Just answer me, okay?”
“Of course. I’ll answer anything as long as you have a real conversation with me. Uh, what was your question again?”
“From here, it kinda looks like all the world’s God’s Eyes bearers live inside one shabby cabin?”
“Oh, no. This is a temp house.”
“So the real place is somewhere else?”
“Yeah. In the Central Continent…”
So that’s how it was. “So is this your southern branch office or something?”
“No, we’re not interested in the Southern Continent,” Tiir said. “We’ll move out in the next few days.”
“Huh, really? Why?” Ryner asked.
“Because my job will have finished. We’ve pretty much gathered up all the God’s Eye bearers in the south… so now we need to take everyone and go home.”
“…Hm. So that’s how it works,” Ryner said with a nod.
Tiir smiled sincerely once again. Like he was truly happy that Ryner was acknowledging him.
“……”
But Ryner had mixed feelings about that smile.
“Those inferior humans.”
He felt like a different person now, but he’d spat those words just a moment ago. What made Tiir feel that they were so different? It wasn’t that he couldn’t understand why Tiir hated humans, knowing how they treated Cursed Eye bearers, but…
“…….”
Ryner looked up at the cabin. It was a little wooden thing, completely isolated from human society. Would all the Cursed Eye bearers here think the same as Tiir? Would they all believe that they were superior and humans were inferior? Were they all alright with every human in the world dying? Did the leaders of this organization pressure or force the others into thinking that way?
Either way, it sounded like a difficult place to get along with others in. Ryner scrunched up his nose at the thought.
“We have to stay together. We’re persecuted by the inferior majority, after all,” Tiir said. “So I’ve kind of been acting as everyone’s mentor and gathering us all up.”
Ryner narrowed his eyes. “So you’re in charge here?”
“Yeah?” Tiir said with ease, nodding.
“So?”
“Huh? So what?” Tiir said, tilting his head in confusion.
“Don’t ‘so what?’ me. You just lied, right? You’re not really in charge.”
Tiir’s eyes widened. “Uwah, you noticed? That’s amazing, Ryner. When did you realize that?”
“That doesn’t really matter,” Ryner said, tired. But he ended up repeating what Tiir said anyway. “…’Because my job will have finished.’”
“Ah, my bad,” Tiir said. Job… yeah. That’s right, I’m doing this because someone told me to. I’m not really in charge.”
“Hold up,” Ryner said. “Doesn’t that go against what you said before, though…? You said, ‘
I’d never lie to my allies,’ or somethin’. And now you’re lying.”
Tiir smiled, calm as could be. “But it wasn’t really a lie. I’m our public leader.”
Public leader… so Tiir played the part to cover the fact that someone else was there, then.
Then that meant…
“…You guys have enemies?” There wouldn’t be any reason to go out of their way to hide this if they didn’t. Of course one could say that all of humanity was their enemy. But the average person shouldn’t pose a threat to someone as strong as Tiir. So there had to be something out there that did threaten them. Enough to hide their true leader. “Is it Gastark?” Ryner asked.
Tiir’s expression changed instantly. Apparently Ryner hit the bull’s eye, as Tiir was stuck somewhere between shocked and happy. “Amazing… I’ve noticed over the past few days that you’re really pretty impressive, but I didn’t realize you were this capable. I’m sure our leader will be happy, too, if smart people like you keep joining us.”
Ryner wanted to hold his head in his hands. Because Tiir’s organization was fighting Gastark. Honestly, it was really obvious that that was the case if he just thought about it for a few seconds. Because Gastark had people roaming the continent to hunt Cursed Eye bearers. Tiir was searching the continent for them, too. They’d naturally collide before long.
And when they did collide… the Cursed Eyes would probably lose without much of a fight. Because no matter how much everyone said Tiir was invincible, that was only against regular humans.
Ryner recalled the weapons Sui and Kuu used. They were Heroic Relics, though they called them Rule Fragments… One was the Scythe of Ailuchrono, capable of giving its user super reflexes and freezing anything it touched. Another was a dagger that, when stabbed into an arm or other body part, could become a fire-breathing dragon…
“……”
The fire dragon wasn’t one they had to begin with, either. Ryner had thrown it away because he didn’t know how to use it, and they were the ones who picked it up…
Gastark’s weapons held power that couldn’t feasibly be recreated with modern magic.
In comparison, the Cursed Eyes…
Take Ryner. His Alpha Stigma could be used to understand and replicate magic. Tiir’s Iino Doue operated differently, but it had the same effect as Ryner’s, in the end - he could devour the opponent’s magic, then use it against them by increasing his physical abilities. Both of their powers used their opponent’s magic.
But the Heroic Relics weren’t magic. Their power came from something else entirely.
Even if Ryner looked at them with his Alpha Stigma, he still wouldn’t understand how they were made or how they used fire or ice.
Basically, Cursed Eyes were really incompatible with the Heroic Relics.
Tiir might seem invincible against a normal opponent, but his hands were tied the second he fought an opponent who wouldn’t use magic.
It was much easier for a Cursed Eye bearer to fight opponents with relics by using magic normally instead of relying on their eyes. Although Ryner and Ferris usually chose to run when faced with Sui and Kuu… it was still possible for Ryner to fight with magic.
Tiir couldn’t do that, though. His eyes were always active, sucking the spirit from the air. As useful as that ability was, it also meant that he couldn’t fire that energy in magic. It’d just get sucked back in even if he tried. So he was completely incapable of using magic. How should he fight Gastark, then?
“…By the way, have you ever fought anyone from Gastark before?” Ryner asked.
“……”
Tiir didn’t answer. But that in itself was an answer of sorts.
Ryner was seriously glad he didn’t bring Arua here. Because Gastark had already painted a big, fat target on this organization. He couldn’t bring Arua somewhere dangerous like that.
Come to think of it…
“…So this is kind of an anti-Gastark organization, right?” Ryner asked.
But just then, he heard a noise.
“What’s that?” Ryner said and looked towards the sound. The door to the cabin had opened and a young boy stood in the entrance. He had black hair down to his shoulders and black eyes, and he was still really little - probably only about four or five years old. He looked around the weeds intently.
And then he saw Ryner and Tiir. His face instantly filled to the brim with happiness. “Ah, ah, ah, ahh!! T-Tiir!!” He yelled and burst out in a run towards them.
Four more children jumped out of the cabin thanks to the commotion, looked over at them, and then ran towards them with the same excitement. It wouldn’t be strange if they tripped—
“Gyah!!”
“Ow!”
And there two of them went…
They were fine, though. They stood themselves back up in no time to continue their sprints over.
The kids jumped up and latched onto Tiir one after another.
“Were you waiting for me?” Tiir asked with a gentle smile as he pet their little heads.
A little girl who was on the verge of tears answered. “Y-you’re late!”
“Yeah! Even though I was waiting the whole time!” Another one of the boys said.
Tiir pet their heads one by one as they yelled. “I see. Were you all good kids while I was gone?”
They all nodded at once.
“I, I was a good kid…”
“I was a better kid!!”
“But y-you ate my cake!”
And so on and so on.
Ryner was actually more surprised about Tiir than how loud the kids were. He felt a kindness radiating off of him - his gaze, his tone, everything - that Ryner had never felt from him before.
Then Tiir turned that kind expression towards Ryner. “You asked if I’ve ever fought Gastark before, right?”
“Yeah.”
Tiir kept petting the children’s heads as he spoke. The fact that they were dear to him was unmistakable. “Of course I have. And I ran away, as my friends were killed and killed in front of my eyes. Every now and then I cross paths with them when the only ones with me are kids like this. And… then there’s nothing I can do. Thirty-eight… all murdered. Their eyes were harvested… and there was nothing I could do about it.”
The memory brought pain to Tiir’s face.
“Is that why you hate humans so much?” Ryner asked.
Tiir shook his head. “No… I’ve hated humans since I was born. Iino Doue and Will Heim enter this world hearing God’s voice and knowing the truth - that we’re fundamentally incompatible with humans. But Alpha Stigma, Torch Curse, and Ebra Crypt are different. You God’s Eyes who can’t hear God’s voice are raised by humans, scorned by them, and abused by them… and yet you still say that you love them. You’re the same way, aren’t you? You still love humans. Am I wrong?”
“You’re right.”
Tiir smiled. “Thank you for being honest.”
“Mm? You aren’t gonna try and correct me?”
“There’s no need.”
“Why?” Ryner asked.
“Because you’ll soon give up that naive way of thinking anyway.”
“Will I really?”
Tiir’s smile didn’t falter. “They killed children in front of my eyes so they could steal their eyes. And they were happy about it… they cheered about ‘exterminating the monsters.’ They stole seventy-six eyes. And they laughed.”
Tiir tore his eyes from Ryner to look back at the kids. He resumed petting their heads. “I can’t let that happen to these kids,” Tiir said. “I can’t let them hear that ugly laughter. They’ve been through so much already… They’ve been called monsters, demons, things… By the time I get to them, some of them won’t raise their heads or speak anymore. And they all say the same thing once they do - ‘I’m a monster, but I don’t want to hurt the people I love.’ But…”
Tiir raised his saddened face to look at Ryner. “Who’s really the monster?” He spat.
“……”
Ryner couldn’t say anything to that. Because he was the same as them.
They called him a monster. Feared him. Loathed him. Abused him.
He hated it. He didn’t want people to call him a monster. He didn’t want to hurt others. He didn’t want to kill anyone.
So please… please, no one touch him.
“……”
So he averted his eyes. He wouldn’t look at the world. He stayed neutral, like he had no interest in anything. He acted like nothing had anything to do with him. He closed himself off inside a shell.
He wouldn’t touch anyone so he couldn’t hurt them.
He’d shake their hands off so he couldn’t hurt them.
And he ran. And ran. And ran.
He ran until his act became the truth.
He didn’t feel anything. He didn’t have anything to do with anyone. He didn’t care what happened to the world.
He was just tired, day in and day out.
He did nothing. He had no purpose. He just let time pass around him.
“……”
Ryner watched the kids play with Tiir for a moment. Then Tiir caught his gaze.
“…I want to protect these kids,” Tiir said. “I want to create a world where they can smile… so I’m really happy when strong people like you join us.” Tiir smiled. “Welcome, Ryner Lu—”
“Strong? And he’s joining?” One of the boys asked. “Ah, are you gonna be our friend!?”
“Well?” One of the other boys asked. “What kind of eyes do you have? Do you have the Alpha Stigma like we d—”
“Who cares about that!” A girl interrupted. “Tell us your specialty instead!”
Ryner was overwhelmed by their rapid-fire questions. “Uh, um, my specialty? Uh… can you give me an example?”
The girl scowled, annoyed. “Geez. I’m talking about stuff like tag and hide-and-seek and that kind of stuff!”
“O-oh, that kind of specialty…”
“By the way, um, Tiir’s specialty is playing house!”
“Y-you’re kidding, right!?” Ryner asked, shocked to the core. But Tiir just laughed at his questioning look.
“So what’s your specialty?” A kid asked again. “Answer meee.”
Ryner took a minute to think. A long minute. “N, napping,” was the answer he finally settled on.
The kids exchanged a look. And then, “You’re useless to usss!!!” They yelled in unison.
“But even if you yell at me…”
“Napping, huh? I like that,” someone said from behind the kids. “I like napping too.”
Ryner turned to look. It was a boy… no, teenager - about fifteen or sixteen years old - with the same black hair and eyes that Ryner had been seeing a lot lately.
“Lafra,” Tiir said. “You were right. I found Ryner in the inn in Estabul that you said he’d be in.”
“The inn in Estabul?” Ryner repeated. He scowled. That was where he’d met Tiir, who killed the inn’s owners… and who he betrayed Sion and Ferris for. “What do you mean, just like he said? How did you know I was there? Was it an eye power?”
Lafra smiled, then closed his eyes. He soon reopened them. When he did, there were two scarlet dots on top of each other in each eye. It was a different sort of symbol than the Alpha Stigma’s pentagram and Iino Doue’s cross.
“Well, you definitely don’t have the Alpha Stigma,” Ryner said.
“Yes. That’s right. My eyes are the Ebra Crypt. I can alter people’s dreams.”
“Alter dreams…? So you can change people’s dreams up?”
“Yes,” Lafra said and nodded.
Ryner tilted his head. “You mean the dreams people have when they’re sleeping, right?”
“Yes, those dreams.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“Hm… but that’s, like… what can you even do with that?” Ryner asked.
Lafra looked up at the sky as he seemed to recall something. And then he spoke. “What kind of impossible dreams do you ugly monsters have?”
“…Wha…”
That was… what Lucile had said to him…
“H, how do you know that?” Ryner asked.
“…Sorry. About your dreams…”
“You’ve been peeking!?” Ryner yelled.
“…Y, yes,” Lafra said, a little flustered. “To be precise, I fiddled with your dream in my mind… b-but please don’t worry. I can hardly tell what dreams are about from so far away. I really only know bits and pieces.”
“……”
Ryner was fed up with this guy just by looking at his expression. He had a weak sort of look on his face that screamed that he was easy to hurt. It was the exact kind of expression that Ryner used to make. So Ryner didn’t have to guess what Lafra had been through. Because it was already written all over his face.
Lafra had the ability to see into people’s dreams. Into their desires. He could see everything that people wanted to keep secret. And he didn’t want that power. He thought it was gross.
Don’t come near. Don’t come near, monster. He must’ve heard that lots.
Everyone here was like that.
“…Well, whatever,” Ryner mumbled. He lowered his gaze to the children. They were running around excitedly and playing with Tiir even while Ryner talked to Lafra. Apparently they were all Alpha Stigma bearers.
Everyone here was a Cursed Eyes bearer.
And the looks on their faces, the look on Lafra’s face, probably ever the look on Ryner’s face… they were all the same.
“……”
They were right. Everyone here was on the same side. Even if their eyes were a little different, they’d all thought the same things before. They wanted to be close to people because they loved them, but they also wanted to stay away from people. Because they loved them.
“…You’re just as kind as I knew you’d be, Ryner,” Lafra said.
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Ryner asked and scrunched up his nose.
Lafra smiled. “When I said that I can alter your dreams, your first reaction was that you didn’t like that. That it made you mad. But you soon thought of my side of things and sympathized with me instead. You’re very kind…”
Listening to that was honestly kind of irritating. “I’m really not.”
“You are.”
“Why do you even—”
“You may have already realized it,” Lafra interrupted. “But Ebra Crypt bearers such as myself are searching for the God’s Eyes bearers scattered across the world.”
Ryner had no idea what that had to do with if he was kind or not… but at the same time, he was relieved from the change in conversation. He doubted that there was anyone who was comfortable with being called kind right to their face. It was embarrassing!
And…
“……”
If he were actually kind, he would’ve killed himself before he ever hurt anyone else. But he didn’t. Because he was someone who killed those he held special, but wouldn’t die.
Ryner forced himself to stop thinking about that and go back to what Lafra was talking about.
“So you’re finding us Cursed Eyes bearers through our dreams, right? But can you really find us just like that?”
Lafra smiled bitterly. “No, not exactly. Dozens of Ebra Crypt bearers search the dreams of different people day after day. Then once we find information on a God’s Eyes bearer, we focus on the dreams of that region and look through them all… over and over again. But it’s very difficult when they’re far away. Because we only see scattered fragments then.”
“I see,” Ryner said with a nod. Basically, Lafra looked through his dreams until he found out that Ryner was in that inn in Estabul… no, he probably got that Ryner was leaving Roland and heading for Estabul, where he’d stay in an inn and was able to figure out his path from there. Then Tiir came to find him in person.
“……”
But something was off, then.
Lafra said that he and the other Ebra Crypt bearers looked through dreams until they found out about a Cursed Eyes bearer, then took a closer look at everyone’s dreams to figure out where they were. So why didn’t they know about Arua, then? It wouldn’t have been strange if they’d come to get him at about the same time Ryner did.
Although… if the fragments they saw from afar were truly nonsensically vague, then it was possible that they caught Ryner from time to time but totally missed Arua.
In the first place, dreams depicted people’s minds. They weren’t reality. So they probably couldn’t get much concrete info from them… So…
“Hey, you… how long were you listening in on my dreams, anyway?”
Lafra just smiled. “Ryner, you sure are kind.”
“That again? Conversations are supposed to be sequential. You’re going out of order here.”
“No, I’m going in perfect sequence. You’re very kind…”
“Stop calling me that already!” Ryner said. “I get embarrassed just hearing it!”
Lafra laughed. The sound caught Tiir’s attention, so he turned to them. “Lafra, don’t bully Ryner too much!” Tiir said, but he was laughing too.
“But I was so touched by Ryner’s kindness. I wanted to convey that to him no matter what… Ah, maybe if I whisper it to him so no one else hears, he won’t be embarrassed anymore…”
“That’s even more embarrassing!” Ryner said. “Ugh, you’re so troublesome!”
Lafra smiled innocently as he came closer. Oh, he was serious.
Tiir smiled. “I’m glad you guys are getting along so well already. Anyway, the kids and I are going to head in now. I need to start dinner, after all. Why don’t the two of you stay out here a little longer and deepen your b—”
“No way in hell!” Ryner yelled.
“Come on, there’s no need to be like that,” Lafra said, that same smile still on his face. He gripped Ryner’s shirt, tugging at him…
“H-hey, don’t be weird…”
“So, you’re very kind when people die—”
“Please, just stop!” Ryner said.
Lafra just smiled. Looked over to make sure that Tiir had gone back inside. And continued. “So, shall we talk now?”
“I told you, I don’t wanna—”
“About the reason I didn’t call Arua here…”
Ah. “Y-you,” Ryner started, but that was all he could find to say. So he settled for glaring at the adolescent clinging to his sleeve. So he did know about Arua. He knew that Arua existed from watching Ryner’s dreams.
But he didn’t call him here.
“……”
Ryner looked back at the cabin. The door was shut, and he could hardly hear the kids through it anymore, even though he knew they were in there being loudmouths.
Lafra had said that he was speaking sequentially. Ryner was starting to understand what that meant now. He looked back to Lafra.
“…You wanted to keep this secret from Tiir,” he said.
Lafra smiled. “Keep secret the fact that I became your biggest fan after seeing how kind you were through your dreams?”
Ryner felt a headache coming on. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “Ugh, shit. I really hate that, but you’re just going in sequence, right?”
“Hehe, that’s right,” Lafra said. He looked happy.
Ryner sighed. “Can we at least keep the part where you praise me short?”
“Huh!? But that’s the main point!”
“Then let’s cut the main story out and make this conversation about the spin-off.”
“Aww,” Lafra whined. He crossed his arms and was quiet for a moment as he thought something over. “The truth is, I found you a while ago. But I didn’t tell the others.”
“…Oh? Why not?”
“Because you’re special. You’re the first of your type that I’ve ever seen. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty talented even among the Ebra Crypt bearers… I’ve found lots of God’s Eyes. You are an Alpha Stigma bearer, of course… but you’re still different. So I’ve become interested in you.”
“What do you mean by different?” Ryner asked.
Lafra grinned. “You’re really kind.”
Ryner scowled. “Seriously, you can drop that.”
“But it’s important,” Lafra said seriously. “You’re kind… and I know you’re going to hate this, but I’ve always been watching your dreams. You’ve been far away so I haven’t seen more than fragments, and I know that fragments alone can only convey a fragment of it all. But… even so, they’ve conveyed your feelings. To the point where it makes me want to cry.
“Anger, sadness, hatred, despair… your abuse, the fact that people are scared of you, your loneliness that only ever got worse,” Lafra continued. “You’re afraid of hurting others. Afraid of being hurt. You’d rather die, if you could. You’d rather go mad, if you could. I felt your feelings like they were mine.”
“…And what’s so kind about that?”
Lafra smiled kindly as he gazed at Ryner. “Even after everything, your heart is screaming that it loves people down to its core. That’s the feeling that dominates you most of all.”
“……”
“You’re always thinking most about how you want to protect the people who are important to you. That you’re sick of being so isolated. That you love people. That you love everyone. That you might be a monster, but… you still want to be closer to the people you love. You still want them in your life…”
“You can’t seriously think I’m that charming,” Ryner spat.
Lafra just smiled. “I do. You’re very charming. Because you’re as kind as you are sad.”
“…Seriously, I’m getting real sick of—”
“You’ve been screaming, weak and lonely as you are. ‘I hate being alone. I hate it. I’m lonely. Someone save me. Please, save me—’”
“Cut it out!”
Lafra stopped. But he was still smiling sweetly. Smiling like he was enjoying this.
“……”
What could Ryner say to that smile? Lafra just kept smiling and smiling, like he could see right through him. He wanted to avert his eyes. Because that smile knew him.
The truth was that Lafra was sad. He wanted to cry. But he smiled. Because the only thing he could do was smile and hope that things would be better…
“Hey, you… you don’t have to talk when you’re on the verge of tears like that,” Ryner said.
“Ahaha.” That laughter was sad, too. He was smiling, but his voice was so close to tears… “You’re a lonely person.”
Ryner scrunched his nose up. “I wonder who you’re really talking about. ‘You hate being alone. You want to protect those who are important to you. You love humans.’ You’re really talking about yourself, aren’t you?”
Lafra nodded, admitting to it easily. “Both you and I. That’s why I called you here. To save someone important to me.”
“Who?” Ryner asked.
Lafra looked over at the cabin. “Tiir.”
Ryner looked back at the cabin, too. When he did, the door opened and a girl a year or two younger than Lafra popped her head out. “Lafra, Tiir says dinner’s ready!” She yelled.
Lafra smiled and waved to her. “I want to save her, too. And the kids inside. All of our friends in the Central Continent. You too, Ryner…”
Lafra turned back to Ryner. He looked at him with his cursed eyes. The scarlet brand that made everyone fear, loathe, and abuse him was plainly visible in his black eyes.
“We Cursed Eye bearers who have fallen into despair at the hands of humans, who live our lives in sadness… we all want you to save us,” Lafra said with the same sad smile as always.
---
It was awfully quiet. Maybe it was because it was so isolated from civilization. All he could hear was the wind against the cabin and the wind against the tall grass outside. That and the kids’ light snores.
“……”
It was the dead of night. Everyone else was asleep. Tiir, Lafra, and all of the kids. Ryner got up as quietly as he could to avoid waking any of them.
He left the cabin to step into a wide open night free of artificial lights. But it wasn’t pitch black. There weren’t many clouds out, and the moon and stars were shining down on him. So it was actually pretty bright, all things considered. He looked up at the sky.
“…Maybe I just can’t sleep ‘cause I changed pillows?”
He knew that probably wasn’t true, though. Because he was always the kind of person who was asleep the second he snuggled up in bed. Today was different, though. He couldn’t sleep at all. Because when he closed his eyes, Lafra’s words repeated again and again in his mind…
“We Cursed Eye bearers who have fallen into despair at the hands of humans, who live our lives in sadness… we all want you to save us.”
He thought of that again and again.
“Damn you, Lafra. You’ve got some nerve…”
Ryner looked back at the shabby cabin. There had been four more Alpha Stigma bearers inside. Girls, boys, even people around Ryner’s age. They all ate dinner like a big family of eleven sitting around the same table eating food that Tiir made for them. It was pretty tasty… and everyone was smiling as they ate. And they all welcomed Ryner with their smiles, too. They included him. They all laughed at everyone’s jokes.
It was a worry-free sight. Nothing was wrong with it. It was the kind of place that it was okay to call home.
And yet…
“We Cursed Eye bearers who have fallen into despair at the hands of humans, who live our lives in sadness… we all want you to save us.”
Lafra’s words ran through his mind once again.
“…You want me to save the Cursed Eyes?”
He’d never thought of doing that. Instead, he’d spent his time thinking that monsters like himself who hurt people shouldn’t be saved. Because he hated it when people were hurt. So he didn’t think there was any worth in him being saved…
“……”
Ryner thought of the kids. They’d been so, so lively during dinner. Endless little balls of energy.
Lafra would joke around, and the girl who’d told them dinner was ready would watch him with her full attention… a fact that the kids soon commented on.
“Come on, Pueka, you’re staring at Lafra again…”
“A-a-am not!”
“Gyaah!! Pueka punched Lafra!”
It was normal. Happy. Even though everyone there was cursed…
“…I guess I shouldn’t say that saving a monster like me would be worthless anymore, huh,” Ryner said to himself. Because if he did, then that’d mean that saving all those kids was worthless, too.
“……”
But he did want to save them. They were such loud-mouthed brats, and… he wanted to save them.
“Uwah, give me a break. At this rate I’ll go just as soft as Lafra said I was…”
Ryner looked back to the cabin where the kids were sleeping.
“…This is getting to be such a pain,” Ryner said with a sigh. Things were supposed to get easier from here on out.
He’d always been the only Alpha Stigma bearing monster. He’d always wondered why he had to have feelings, too. If only he didn’t have those eyes, he’d thought. If only he could exist without his cursed eyes. Why was he the only one who had to think that?
“……”
Ryner’s thoughts faded.
The wind was blowing against the grass. And past that…
Ryner looked into the grass. “Who’s there?”
“My, I’ve hid my presence but you still ended up finding me so easily… People they called geniuses back in the old Roland are pretty different from the rest, huh?”
Ryner recognized that voice. “You’re… Milk’s subordinate…”
A man appeared in the grass. He had a calm and familiar face. He was taller than Ryner and just as lanky. He was only about twenty-four or twenty-five years old, but he had peculiar white hair like an old person might. He wore a Roland military uniform, too.
“Luke,” he offered, seeing that Ryner couldn’t recall his name. “Luke Stokkart. I’m affiliated with the Taboo Hunters, and I serve Lieutenant Milk Callaud—”
“You’re Sion’s direct subordinate. The one who accepted the order to exterminate the Alpha Stigma bearing monster, Ryner Lute?”
“…Ah, so you knew that…”
Ryner overcame the urge to let his emotions show on his face. Luke’s sad expression said it all. It was the truth.
Sion Astal gave Luke Stokkart three orders.
1. Find any Heroic Relics that the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute overlooks and fails to collect.
2. Monitor the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute.
3. Should the Alpha Stigma bearer Ryner Lute go berserk outside of Roland or show signs of betraying Roland, exterminate him.
So those were really orders that Sion had given Luke. It wasn’t some plot to push Ryner and Sion away from each other. It was the truth.
“…Did it hurt you?” Luke asked.
Ryner shrugged. “Not really. I mean, it’s only natural. Sion hasn’t done anything wrong.”
Luke smiled sadly. “Yeah. He hasn’t done anything wrong… so since you understand that, please just die.”
“What if I said that I don’t wanna?”
“How troublesome… I was worried that you’d say that.” Luke’s eyes flicked to the cabin behind Ryner. “God’s Eyes… was it? There are many more here than just yourself. More than my sources led me to expect, honestly…” Luke trailed off for a moment. “Ah, well, that aside.”
Ryner glared at Luke. God’s Eyes. God’s Eyes, he said. “You bastard… How long have you been following me?”
“…For quite a while,” Luke admitted openly. “Since approximately thirty hours after you crossed the border from Roland to Nelpha, I believe…”
“……”
Ryner’s whole body was tense. Five days had passed since he and Tiir entered Nelpha. That meant that Luke had been watching them for about three days now. But Ryner hadn’t noticed him at all.
He’d been watching their every move for three whole days. And Ryner and Tiir hadn’t noticed at all. Which meant…
“You’ve been keeping your true power a secret from me all this time,” Ryner said.
Luke just shrugged.
“Ugh… this is such a pain,” Ryner said. He clicked his tongue, then took a battle stance.
Luke didn’t do the same. “You can’t win against me even if we fight.”
“…Hmm. You’re pretty different from usual. You’re way more confident now,” Ryner said. “So you think you’re stronger than me?”
“Oh, not in the slightest,” Luke said easily. “I’m far weaker. You know that as well as I do. I mean, you were once a legend known as the greatest magician in all of Roland. I can’t hold a candle to you with my physical or magical ability.”
Ryner snorted. “But you’re using tactics even now. You’re trying to make me underestimate you.”
“I don’t need to. I’d win even without you underestimating me.”
“…There’s no way you can.”
Luke smiled. It looked like he was mocking Ryner with it. “Harsh. But the results of a battle are pretty much always decided before they even start… well, whatever. Shall we?”
Right then, Ryner noticed the magic circles camouflaged in the grass in front of Luke. Now that he was looking, there were too many to count. It was a magic trap. A skilled one, at that. He wouldn’t have noticed it at all in normal circumstances… but Luke was being really talkative and he’d gotten distracted.
‘The results of a battle are pretty much always decided before they even start,’ huh?
In other words, Luke had already prepared himself to win before approaching Ryner with this magic trap.
Ryner smiled. “You better not regret that overconfidence of yours.”
He ran and jumped up above Luke’s magic trap.
“Ah, uwah, he saw through it,” Luke said. He scowled and took a step back like he wanted to run.
Ryner didn’t intend on giving him the chance to run. He kept bursting forward to close the distance between them, but—
“Just kidding,” Luke said with a smile. “Hey. Kill him.”
Someone grasped Ryner’s legs.
“What!?” Ryner yelled. “There were others…?”
He turned to see. But that marked the end.
The only thing there was a single, horribly old-fashioned trap, and he stepped right into it. Now it was holding him in place… He was stuck. Luke didn’t have any allies waiting to jump him. It was just this trap, and he stepped right into it.
“Checkmate,” Luke said. He pressed a knife to Ryner’s neck…
“……Kgh.” Ryner couldn’t say any more than that. Luke’s strategy was too brilliant to argue against.
It was only because he was so talkative? Better not regret his overconfidence?
God, Ryner was stupid.
Everything that Luke said and did was done was strategy. For the express purpose of getting his knife to Ryner’s throat. He meant to sound overconfident. He meant for Ryner to see through his magic trap. Ryner could never…
“You could never win… that’s what you’re thinking, right? I could win with such a simple trap in the grass… I’m way too strong for you to win against… you thought that too, right? But that’s not true. The truth is that you’re stronger. I’ve only been acting to make you feel that I’m overwhelmingly strong. See, if you wanted, you’re plenty strong enough to take this knife from me and kill me instead. Do you want to?”
He said that, but.
“……”
It just gave Ryner the unnecessary need to try.
Say he was telling the truth and Ryner really could steal the knife away. Luke wasn’t moving like someone who was far out of Ryner’s league, fighting wise. That much was true. He might really be able to steal the knife if he just tried.
But the fact that Luke said he could do it so easily… meant that Ryner couldn’t move. He couldn’t tell what was a lie and what was the truth… That was another kind of trap, he supposed.
“…Alright. It’s over,” Luke said. He squeezed the knife in his hand. But he didn’t move.
Ryner was too focused on what Luke was saying. His reflexes were slower. His body wasn’t as ready for a fight as it should be. And in the instant that he wavered… the knife began to dig into his throat.
“Gagh…”
Ryner twisted his body. He had to get out of the way. But it didn’t look like he’d make it.
He felt death approaching.
It was hopeless—
“……”
And then he saw it, on the brink of death. It was like an angel cutting through the dark, with flowing golden-blonde hair. Blue eyes. An eerily beautiful face. She was pretty, he thought. Prettier than anything he’d ever seen before. Prettier than anything anyone had seen before.
But the angel wasn’t smiling. She was completely expressionless as she raised her sword up.
“Huh? Hey, why’re you aiming that at meeeeeee!!!”
Seeing her was nostalgic and all, yeah, but he was face down on the ground before he could register any more than that. He hurt too much to stand. “Are you trying to kill me, Ferris!?” Ryner yelled.
Ferris stepped on him in response. “Mm? Oh, you were there.”
“…U, uwah. Even this is nostalgic. Makes me remember how much you always step on m—gyaah!!”
She stepped on his head this time. “Mm? Oh, you were there.”
“Seriously, one day I’m gonna fucking k—gukyagh!!”
“Mm? Oh, you were there.”
“Wh, why are you—goukyau!!”
“Mm? Oh, you were there.”
“No, no, wait—bowaguhagha!!”
“Mm? Oh, you were there.”
Ryner was on the verge of tears. “S-sorry. You’re mad at me, right? Of course you’d be. Um, I-I’ll apologize for everything, so can you wait a minute? You could eat some dango or something. So? What do you say? I’ll die if you keep doing thiisssss gyakyaaahhhhh!!”
He was seriously gonna die this time. That’s what Ryner thought.
But Ferris seemed satisfied when she stopped. “So what’s the situation?” She asked. “Why’s this guy trying to kill you?”
“…So you finally caught up to me, Ferris,” Luke said. “You followed me here, didn’t you?”
“Wha… So you noticed me tailing you—”
“Kyghaaaaaa!!”
Ferris was cut off by a pained scream a ways away.
“What’s that?” Ferris and Ryner both said.
“Mm?”
They all turned towards the sound.
Towards the cabin.
It sounded like Pueka. The girl who fancied Lafra.
Ryner stood. “That’s… too loud to just be sleeptalking, right?”
Ferris’ eyes widened like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She shivered. “Y-you… Don’t tell me you’ve kidnapped girls and taken them to this secluded cabin—”
“Ah, I’ve not heard of that,” Luke said. “Don’t tell me you’re using magic to exploit them—”
“Are you two stupid!? There’s no way I’d—”
The cabin door opened. Some kids ran out towards them. Everyone was crying. There were three young boys and girls, and they were soon followed by Pueka and Lafra.
“Hey, Lafra, what’s going on?” Ryner asked.
“R-Ryner… R, run! We have to run or we’ll be killed!” Lafra yelled.
“Killed? By wh—”
Ryner couldn’t finish. Because once he saw the monster leaping out after Lafra and the others, he was at a loss for words. It was a beast made of light… no, made of thunder. And it was aiming for Pueka.
“Shit!”
Ryner broke out in a run. But he couldn’t make it. She was too far away. The beast opened its mouth wide…
“Get out of the waaay!!” Ryner yelled.
But just then, Lafra kicked Pueka out of the way. When he did, the beast turned its attention to him.
Ryner could make it this time! He just needed a little more. “Lafra, over here!”
Lafra turned to look at him… but he didn’t move. He just smiled. It was the same sad smile from before. A smile that showed he’d given up on everything and fallen completely into despair. It was the exact same look that Ryner always used to make.
“…Promise me, Ry…”
“That doesn’t matter now! Just hurry up and take my hand—”
“…I’m glad I could make it. I know you’ll honor our promis…”
Lafra never got to finish that sentence. Because the beast ran towards him far faster than Ryner could. It wrapped its big fangs around Lafra’s head and bit… leaving the rest of his body to fall to the ground like a toy after playtime had ended. His head soon fell down beside him.
And Ryner’s outstretched hand… gripped the empty air. He looked down.
Lafra.
Lafra was… still smiling up at him sadly. And he’d never stop, now.
“……Ah…”
Ryner suddenly didn’t understand anything. His vision went dark. But he could still hear screaming. The screams of children. They screamed and screamed and screamed over the picture of Lafra’s smile that was burned into his mind.
“We Cursed Eye bearers who have fallen into despair at the hands of humans, who live our lives in sadness… we all want you to save us.”
Those words were burned into his mind next to his smile. It was like a curse haunting his mind.
“Because you’re kind.”
“I… I don’t…”
He didn’t get it. He didn’t get it!
What was… what…
Pueka, who Lafra had kicked out of the way of an attack, looked towards him. She looked… at Lafra, below a beast whose mouth was dripping with blood.
“…N, no…”
Her black eyes widened. And at their center… a cursed glimmer lit up.
“Ahh, ahhhh…”
The red pentagram in her eyes lit up, brighter and brighter… like they’d make her go mad…
“S, stop! Just w-wait! Please, wait!” Ryner yelled.
But he couldn’t stop her anymore.
“Aaaaaahh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! Aaaaaahahahhaa!”
Her mad laughter had already begun.
Ryner ran to her. He could still make it. He just had to knock her out now. He could still save her.
For some reason, he heard Lucile’s voice.
“What kind of impossible dreams do you ugly monsters have?”
Shut up.
“You should already know. Monsters’ hands are already covered in blood. They can’t grasp anything… and they can’t make it anywhere.”
Shut up!
Ryner held his hand out to Pueka.
He could still make it. He should still make it. He could still save her. Because even his hand could save someone, even if it was the bloodied hand of a monster—
“Whoa there, I can’t have you getting in the way when I’m so close to crystallizing this.”
A man appeared before him. He had a muscular body, and he was overflowing with confidence. But more than anything, what stood out about him was his unusual pink hair. He swatted Ryner’s hand away with his right hand. His left hand held an odd green orb. He pushed it up close to Pueka’s face.
“Gouge them out and crystalize it, Spanquel.”
Pueka’s laughing abruptly stopped. She collapsed to the ground.
Ryner watched her to see if she’d get up. But she didn’t move at all.
“…No…”
She didn’t move at all. Because she was the same as Lafra. Dead.
“……”
The whole world was trembling like it was cold. No, Ryner was. Of course.
His body was shivering. From anger, sadness, hatred, pain…
Why. Why did this always happen.
“……”
Why could he never save anyone.
He looked down at his hands that he’d tried to reach the others with. They were shaking.
“You should already know. Monsters’ hands are already covered in blood. They can’t grasp anything… and they can’t make it anywhere.”
They couldn’t make it anywhere. They couldn’t reach anyone.
How could he expect himself to be able to save anyone? How could he expect his monstrous hands to save anyone?
There was only one thing his hands could do.
They could…
“…kill you.”
They could only hurt people.
“I’m going to kill you all.”
The man in front of him laughed. “Haha, the hell? I’m going to kill all of you Cursed Eye monsters—”
“Gastaaaaarrrkkk!!”
Ryner’s hands danced in the air. His magic circle was complete in a flash.
“Whoa, you’re ultra fast,” the other man said. “But…”
He moved his fingers, one of which was adorned with a gold ring. When he did, the thunder beasts moved.
Ryner had seen something similar in the past. A guy called Froaude used the same kind of relic. His had shadow beasts and this one had thunder beasts. Thunder beasts that killed Lafra.
If this guy’s ring was just as strong as Froaude’s, then Ryner didn’t have a chance. Because he couldn’t even follow Froaude’s beasts with his eyes. They were too fast, too sharp. He couldn’t fight them alone.
But that didn’t matter now.
“Come to me, o beasts—”
Ryner’s magic circle was complete. “I wish for—”
“Too late,” the pink haired man jived, “You won’t be able to dodge if you cast magic. You’ll just die. You know that, right? Appear!”
Light appeared before Ryner. It turned to a lightning beast. But Ryner didn’t dodge. It was whatever. Everything was whatever now. He was a cursed monster. He couldn’t save anyone. Whether he lived or died didn’t matter anymore.
If he could just…
“—Thunder—”
Kill this guy…!!
But just then, Ferris jumped between Ryner and the beast.
“Huh!? Why?” Ryner said. “I can’t stop my spell now…”
Luke grabbed Ryner by the hair, flustered, and pushed him head first into the ground.
“…Uough!?”
That stopped his spell.
The beasts jumped at Ferris. She swung her sword at them to get them to disperse.
“A-are you some kind of idiot!?” Ryner yelled. “Don’t jump in front of my mag—”
“You’re the idiot!” Ferris yelled back. Then she turned around. Her expression was just as blank as always. And yet, inside that blankness… was something very, very faint…
“…If you… if you really want to die on your own that badly, then that’s okay.”
…And that very faint emotion was something sad. Sad like she wanted to cry.
Ryner was at a loss for words.
Ferris averted her eyes. “If you’re really a monster and not really my friend… then it’s okay if you disappear. If you don’t think that we’re partners in crime, don’t believe that you’re my slave, and don’t want to drink tea with me as my friend… then you can do whatever you want.”
Ferris pointed her sword at the man from Gastark. “But I don’t think that, Ryner. No matter how much you think you’re a monster… I don’t think you are at all. Even if you feel like it’s just you, like you’re all alone now… even if you don’t think that’s lonely… I don’t think that at all.”
The Gastarki man smiled. “Well, isn’t this wonderful… If this were a fairy tale, the monster would become a human at the end and you’d live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is real life. That monster will never stop being a monster.” He turned to Ryner. “A monster whose mere existence harms the world.”
“……”
Ryner was used to hearing that sort of thing. People always said it.
They said he was a monster. That he only ever hurt people. That he only ever killed people. His bloodstained hands couldn’t reach anybody. They couldn’t save anybody…
He couldn’t deny any of that. If he was a monster who only hurt others, then he should just die. He always, always believed that. He’d acknowledged it as the truth.
And yet.
Ferris glared at the man before him. “So what? What if he is a monster, then? I don’t care if he’s a monster or not.”
“I, interesting,” the man from Gastark said. “No, even if you don’t care… Are you saying you’d let a dangerous monster li—”
“I don’t care about that stuff,” Ferris interrupted. She said it easily. Way too easily.
Ryner felt like he’d been punched in the face.
So what? What if he was a monster? And saying that she didn’t even care if he was dangerous or not…
He really felt like he’d been hit. She didn’t even have to think about it. She just thought it was stupid, didn’t she?
And Ryner, stupid as he was, began to speak. “I, I,” he said. He was crying for some reason. “Is it really okay… if I live…?”
His voice was shaking. Please, forgive him. That’s all he wanted.
He was letting Ferris see him cry. What would she turn this into later…? No, that didn’t matter now. Because now, shameful as it was, he was crying and wanting to die.
Ugh. Terrible. He was seriously going to die of embarrassment if she turned around—
And of course she took that moment to turn around. Because that was the kind of person she was. She was contrary, violent, and a bully. And above all…
She looked at him. Watched him crying himself to exhaustion… and smiled. She looked like she wanted to cry, too. “Idiot. I’d get lonely if you died…”
Ryner was at a loss for words. He heard screaming - his heart screaming in his mind. It said that he was sick of being alone. That it was sick of being lonely.
Even if they hated him, even if they were afraid of him, Ryner didn’t want to be alone anymore. Because he loved people. So no matter how much they hurt him…
“I…”
The Gastarki man spoke over him. “Well, I guess you’re gonna get pretty lonely then, ‘cause he’s going to die right here.” He raised the green orb over his head. It glittered like a jewel.
Ryner had seen something like it before. Sui and Kuu had used one when they fought. It was the crystalized eyes of a Cursed Eye bearer. Most likely Pueka’s Alpha Stigma.
“Th, this is bad!” Ryner yelled. Because that thing would make all the surrounding Alpha Stigma bearers go berserk. He looked around. The Alpha Stigma kids were watching, unable to do anything but cry.
“I’m going to collect all your Cursed Eyes up.”
“R-run!!” Ryner screamed.
But the kids didn’t run. They were frozen in place by their tears.
Ryner wouldn’t be able to reach them in time. He wasn’t fast enough. Luke wouldn’t be able to either, then. So he turned to Ferris. She was already running.
But…
“Come to me, o beasts - appear!” The man said and waved his fingers. One beast appeared in front of the children. Two appeared to chase after Ferris.
Ferris swung her sword through the mouth of one beast to kill it. The other caught her from behind with a low growl.
“…Gagh!”
Ferris was flung away, then knocked into the ground, unconscious.
The man grinned. “See, what’d I say? I’m not letting these Cursed Eye monsters get me.” Then he raised the gem up again.
Ryner couldn’t do anything about. He couldn’t save anyone…
“…No!” Ryner yelled.
He was giving up on himself. His heart that said that he was useless and that he should give up.
But he shouldn’t do that. He really shouldn’t do that.
The world wasn’t supposed to be buried in its own despair. If he gave up on trying to save anyone now, then what about Lafra’s death? It’d be in vain, right?
No. It shouldn’t be in vain.
“What can my hand…”
He had to think. Think. Think about what he could still do to save someone here. Because he wasn’t going to give up. He had to try harder.
He needed something to show him the way forward. It didn’t matter if it was a god or a demon. Anything, as long as it’d show him what he had to do!
At the end of this despair ridden path, there surely lay a world where no one would lose anything anymore. That kid and Kiefer wouldn’t have to cry anymore. Tyle, Tony, and Fahle wouldn’t have to die. Sion would be able to smile. Ferris and Lafra, too. Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone!
Ryner suddenly heard Lafra’s voice. He couldn’t say why. But he saw his face, smiling even to his death in this despair-ridden world.
“That’s why I called you here. To save someone important to me.”
He definitely heard that voice. “Who?” Ryner asked.
Lafra smiled sadly. “Tiir.”
“……”
Ryner looked to the cabin. He saw Tiir at the door. He hadn’t been there earlier. His right arm and left leg had been torn off… but he still managed to crawl to the door. But that was as far as he could make it. He didn’t move. He didn’t even twitch. His blood loss would be fatal. In fact, he almost looked dead now.
“……”
Still, Ryner smiled. His hands danced in the air. He drew a magic circle faster and more skillfully than anyone else could. It was complete faster than one would expect to see such a complex circle.
“Give it up already,” the pink-haired man said. “Though I guess you won’t have long for that. Resonate!”
Ryner’s hands stopped. The speed they’d had while drawing his magic circle left them completely, leaving him paralyzed. The world brightened and clouded over. His mind went blank. He felt his eyes widen. A burning pain shot through them.
“…Uuh… y, you…”
His consciousness was fading. Fleeing.
Life. Death. Joy. Sadness. He stopped caring about them all…
Shut it, you.
Don’t fight me. This is what you want. It doesn’t matter how much despair exists in the world. That doesn’t matter to you—
I, I said to shut it.
It doesn’t matter if it was dear to you. Nothing matters to you now.
That’s wrong.
You don’t care about anything.
That’s wrong!
He heard voices from afar. The voices of children.
“Aa, aaaaah, aaaaaahhhhh!!”
I want to save—
You don’t care.
Can it.
You don’t care.
Can it already!
You don’t care who dies.
Shi… t…
Ha, hahaha.
It’ll disappear anyway. Everything will. And you won’t care.
S, stop…
Look, you’re hardly even conscious.
Ah…
It’ll get easier. You won’t care about anything. The world will be a blank slate. A blank, empty world with nothing at all inside it. Clarity is all that you’ll feel. Your mind will become clearer and clearer.
Everything that existed, the entire organization of the world spread before him. In numbers, graphs, and patterns. He understood it all. And he heard a voice.
End it, it said. End everything, make it just how you’d like it. Release everything. Open everything. Kill everything.
Until everything you can see is no more—
“…Ah… ahhhh…”
Ryner’s whole body shivered.
“Aaaahhh, you fuckerrr!!”
His head hurt like crazy. His body was spazzing like mad. Even so… the world wasn’t blank anymore. He was back. The magic circle he’d just drawn was still here waiting for him.
“Th, this is insane,” the man from Gastark said. “You stopped it? That’s crazy. I can’t believe that. What are you?”
“…A monster,” Ryner said and smiled. He returned to his magic circle.
“I won’t let you!” The man said and tried to raise his arm to use his ring. But he couldn’t. It was held in place by countless strings of light. He scowled. “Lastel’s Thread?”
“Hm. So that’s its name,” Luke said from behind Ryner. “This is… well. I assume if you know its name, you also know its effects.”
“It’s just for sewing.”
“Ah. Thought so. But this sewing needle can kill you. Then I can send your head in a neat little box back to Gastark,” Luke said. He laughed in a low, dangerous tone.
“…So you even know of Gastark… I guess I better make sure you Rolanders know what kind of a fight you’re asking for,” Gastark’s assassin said. He laughed too, then retrieved that green orb again. “Dumbass. A low level Rule Fragment can’t kill me. Spanquel, cut it up.”
The green orb lit up on his orders. The threads surrounding him were cut.
Ryner smiled. Because he’d seen this before. This was the same game Luke had played with him earlier - he used his words to make his opponent forget the most critical information. That caused Gastark’s assassin to forget the most important thing here. He shouldn’t have wasted time worrying about Luke. Beating Ryner was his priority. If he would’ve done that, then everything would have ended.
But he didn’t.
Ryner put the finishing touches on his magic circle. “I wish for thunder - Lightning Flash!”
Light gathered in the center of his magic circle, then turned to thunder. He shot it towards Tiir.
He heard a voice. It was weak as could be, but it was there.
“I devour power…”
The magic Ryner fired disappeared. Tiir’s eyes swallowed it up.
Tiir’s whole body began to pulsate. Then his arm and leg started to regenerate.
Tiir sprang up. He jumped to the roof of the cabin and glared at the man from Gastark. “How dare you… H, human… You damned human… I’ll kill—”
“It’s not the time for that, Tiir!” Ryner yelled.
Tiir looked over at him. “Huh? R-Ryner…? What’s going on…?”
“The kids! Stop the kids! Their Alpha Stigma’s going to go berserk!”
Tiir stared for a moment, dumbfounded.
“Don’t you understand the situation!?” Ryner yelled.
Tiir dashed to where the kids were laughing madly. So fast that Ryner couldn’t even see him move. He pressed his hands against the three kids’ pressure points to make them lose consciousness.
But Ryner couldn’t relax yet. “There are kids in the cabin, too—”
“Already killed,” the man from Gastark said.
“What!?” Ryner said. “You…”
“But this time was a real bummer. I went through the effort to come here. But Tiir got in the way, and I killed them before I could harvest them… so I only got one harvest out of all this, in the end.” He raised the crystal from before up again. The crystal with Pueka’s eyes.
Only one harvest, he said. That crying and screaming girl was just ‘one harvest’ to him.
“……”
What was he saying? He killed someone for that, didn’t he? So why was he smiling like that?
Anger washed through Ryner’s mind. Dark, dark anger. He forced himself to overcome it. Because anger couldn’t save anyone…
“……”
Ryner looked at the man. The man who said Pueka’s eyes were ‘only one harvest.’ Wasn’t he saying that they had to be alive for their eyes to be harvestable?
Ryner had to think about this rationally. What was the best course of action in this scenario? He forced himself to breathe deeply and looked around. He needed to figure out how to save the most people here…
“……”
He noticed Tiir’s bitter expression. He’d probably fought this man in the past, and knew that he couldn’t win even if he fought him again now. Because he’d be attacking him now if he had a chance.
It would be easy for the man from Gastark to win if all he had to do was kill everyone else.
So how could Ryner do this? How should they do this? He thought about it for a moment before speaking. “Tiir… I want you to take the kids and run.”
The man from Gastark laughed. “Like I’ll let—”
“They’ll be able to get away,” Ryner interrupted. “And you’ll get me in their place.”
“…You? Don’t really need you, though. I can’t go home with one measly Alpha Stigma bearer…”
Ryner snorted. “Liar. You’ve already realized that I’m not some ‘measly Alpha Stigma bearer’ by now. Your country’s starved for information on me.”
The man looked at the pentagram in Ryner’s eyes, then moved his eyes around suspiciously, like some kind of signal - he looked to Tiir, then to Luke pointedly. Ryner didn’t understand why. But the man soon spoke. “I don’t need you. Honestly, it’s probably better if I just killed an Alpha Stigma bearing monster like you.” He raised the green orb again.
Ryner finally understood what he meant to do. “Tiir, hurry! Take the kids and go!”
“But you—”
“Don’t worry about me! Just go! Or would you prefer us all to die!?”
“Kgh…”
Tiir picked the kids up, and once he had them all, he ran and disappeared into the tall grass.
“I won’t let you,” the man from Gastark said. “Spanquel… gh. Let me go. Ugh! Fine. I’ll kill you and your friends, then.” He looked to Luke.
Luke was full of smiles despite the situation.
“So did you figure our shitty acting out?” The man asked.
“No, no, your acting was very realistic,” Luke said. “That’s why that Tiir fellow quietly left for us.”
So that’s what the man’s signal had meant. He was willing to make that trade, but not with Tiir and Luke listening. So he wanted Ryner to get the two of them to go away. But Luke was the one who caught that signal, not Ryner.
“So what are you going to do?” The Gastarki assassin asked Luke.
“…I don’t have any option but to leave, do I? Unless you intend on letting me participate in your discussion as well…”
“Nope.”
“Then I’ll take my leave,” Luke said. “I don’t think I’d be able to win even if we fought, after all. Well, maybe if I cut one or both of your arms off first…” He smiled, carefree as ever. Then turned sharply on his heel. “I’ll leave that opportunity for another day, though.”
The man from Gastark pointed his golden ring bearing hand at Luke’s defenseless back as if to attack him. But then he scowled. Because he realized the faint strings around him. “I wonder if we’ll meet next on the battlefield. Send my regards to Roland’s king for me.”
Luke waved without turning back around. “And mine to Gastark’s king.” Then he left through the grasses.
The man turned back to Ryner once Luke was gone. “Man, what’s up with you guys. Roland’s nothing but monsters. There’s even someone who appears and disappears like some kind of ghost hanging around your king…”
“Wha… you met Lucile…?” Ryner asked, dumbfounded, then sighed. Because he suddenly recalled his old title of Roland’s strongest magician. “Me, the strongest…?” He wondered to himself with a self-deprecating tone.
“What’d you say?”
“Nothing. Let’s get to the point.”
“Hmm? Well, whatever… right, so… actually, let me introduce myself first. I’m Lir Orla. You can just call me Lir, okay, Ryner?”
“Don’t say my name so casually.”
Lir scowled. “Ahh? Have you forgotten your place? I’m the one with the hostage, aren’t I?” Lir asked. He moved his fingers. A lightning beast appeared over by where Ferris lie unconscious. It bared its massive fangs—
“Ah, uh, I was just joking! Wait!” Ryner said quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
“I thought so. Come on, call me Master Lir.”
“What!? You literally just said ‘just call me Lir—’” Lir moved his fingers again, “—No, sorry sorry sorry! Yes, Master! Master Lir! Shit!”
“Soo, setting these jokes aside… Talk, you Alpha Stigma monster,” Lir said. But then he seemed to think better of it. “No… perhaps I should call you the Solver of All Formulas…”
The Solver of All Formulas.
Ryner hadn’t heard of that before. His eyes narrowed. “Is that the name of my eyes?”
Lir’s eyes widened. “Huh? You mean you don’t know about yourself?”
Ryner took a second to think of how he should answer. But if he said it like that, then what choice did Ryner have but to say no? Ryner had followed Tiir so he’d get some clue as to who he was. And Lir called him the The Solver of All Formulas. Not an Alpha Stigma bearer.
“What… am I?” Ryner asked. It sounded like an awfully dumb question to his ears.
Lir grinned. “Aren’t you a work of art. You seriously don’t know, huh?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I knew.”
Lir’s grin widened. “How about the gate, then?”
“Gate?” Ryner repeated.
“…The key?”
“……”
Ryner didn’t answer that time. But it was already too late. The damage was done.
“Ha… hahaha. So Roland’s only made it that far,” Lir said. With that, he turned to leave.
“H, hey… Weren’t you gonna bring me to Gastark?”
Lir shook his head. “No need. Actually, it’s better for you to stay here no matter how far ahead I think…” He turned back for a moment. “Well, do your best to avoid being betrayed, then, you crazy monster.” Then Lir left stepped into the weeds.
“Wait,” Ryner said. “What are you talking about…”
Ryner took a few steps forward to try to pursue, but then he stopped. His voice trailed off.
“……”
He was the only one standing there, now. The sky was starting to lighten around the edges. But it was for the most part still dark. Dark and very, very quiet.
All he could hear was the sound of the wind… and the wind on the grass.
“……”
The last time he’d thought about that, there were kids snoring lightly next to him, too. But there weren’t now.
He looked down at the bodies on the ground. Lafra and Pueka.
He recalled Lafra’s sad smile. Pueka’s happy expression as she watched him.
There should’ve been four others inside, too.
They’d been so, so happy just yesterday. And now they couldn’t even twitch.
“…I should at least make them some graves,” Ryner whispered.
The Solver of All Riddles didn’t matter now. Ryner walked over to Ferris, who was still collapsed on the ground, unconscious. He crouched down to check her over. Thankfully, she was breathing fine and didn’t seem too hurt. Didn’t seem like any bones were broken. He felt a little better knowing that.
“……”
He felt a bit dumbfounded knowing that she’d gotten between him and that lightning beast despite her thin body. What would he have done if she’d died like that…?
He suddenly realized what she’d been feeling then, when she looked back at him with a face that wanted to cry.
“Idiot. I’d get lonely if you died…”
“Yeah… you’re right,” Ryner said. “I’d get lonely if you died, too.” He reached a hand out to pet her dirty head, but…
“…Don’t touch me, sex maniac,” Ferris managed to say with a pained voice.
“You were awake?”
“…No, I just woke up,” Ferris said. She grimaced as she pulled herself up. “What happened?” She asked and looked around.
Ryner shrugged. “Nothing good. Lir… the guy from Gastark, I mean, got away…”
Ferris looked past Ryner to where Lafra and Pueka were. Though her face was typically emotionless, right now she looked a bit uneasy. “So what will you do now?”
So that’s what she wanted to know after everything. Ryner couldn’t help but smile wryly and wonder what she was feeling uneasy about. Wonder why she was feeling uneasy about someone like him. “I’m an idiot,” Ryner mumbled.
“Mm. You’re only just now realizing that?”
Her voice sounded a little uneasy, too. He wanted to cry again. Seriously, he was an idiot.
He’d been the one pushing others away, not the other way around. Because he was scared of hurting them. Because he was scared of being hurt. So he ran away to be alone. But he never really got used to being alone.
It didn’t matter how depressing the world was. It didn’t matter how depressed he was. No matter how sad his heart was… he wouldn’t let it drown in despair.
If Sion smiled, if Ferris would smile… then he’d be happy again. Seeing them smile made his eyes fill with tears. Because he wasn’t alone anymore.
“…I’ll do it, Lafra. I’ll keep our promise.”
Ryner recalled Lafra’s sad expression and the promise he entrusted to Ryner, who hadn’t quite fallen into despair.
“We Cursed Eye bearers who have fallen into despair at the hands of humans, who live our lives in sadness… we all want you to save us.”
Ryner met Ferris’ eyes. “I’ll go back to Roland,” he said. “Because I’ve found something I’ve gotta do. But before that, I want you to promise me something.”
“…What kind of promise?”
“I want you to promise that you’ll lend me the strength to fight instead of just running away.”
Ferris tilted her head. “What are you saying—”
“I’ve… always ran away,” Ryner interrupted. “Always ran from the truth: that I’m a monster. I don’t know when I’ll hurt the people who are important to me. I don’t know when I’ll… I could kill Sion, you, anyone… so I left Roland. I thought you guys didn’t need me anyway.”
“…Have you changed your mind?”
Ryner pulled a face, then shrugged. “Well… seriously changing how I think is gonna be hard. I’m too scared for that now. I mean, just standing here next to you means I could kill you whenever… and that scares me. So… I want you to lend me your courage.”
“…My courage?”
Ryner nodded.
It was the worst promise ever. It’d only cause Ferris trouble. Even so, he’d decided that he wasn’t going to run away anymore.
“…I want you to kill me,” Ryner said. “Kill me the next time I go berserk. Don’t hesitate like last time…”
Ferris’ expression changed. Faint as it was, as impossible for others to see as it was, it changed.
But Ryner could tell. He knew what she was thinking now.
“…If you come home,” Ferris said. As usual, her voice didn’t convey her emotions at all.
But that was okay. It was a promise.
“…Let’s go back together,” Ryner said.
---
