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idola
Chapter 1: The Moment the World Changes
---
“I love you. ♡”
Ryner Lute ignored the sudden proclamation.
“Hey, Ryner. ♡ I love you. ♡”
Ryner didn’t answer.
He had unruly, forever messy black hair and tired black eyes.
The voice called to him again from behind his lanky, slouched back. “Geez, Ryner, I’m talking to youuu!” She said, sickly sweet, like a spoiled child.
Ryner once again completely ignored her. He didn’t have the time to pay attention to her. Why? Well, there were people chasing him and yelling…
“Hey, get back here!”
“You think we’ll let you get off that easily, prison escapee!?”
“He’s a criminal anyway, so just kill him once you catch him!”
And so on and so on. A few dozen mages from the military were chasing him with the intent to kill. They cast spell after spell, their magic circles pointed towards the ground Ryner was walking on to trip him up.
“Whoa!”
One hit the ground beneath his feet.
“Waaugh!”
Another tripped him up.
“Gyaaaagh!!”
And another!
Ryner screamed as he only managed to dodge by the skin of his teeth. “Aughhh fuck that was way too close! It was literally right next to me! I would’ve lost my leg if I was a second too late!”
Another!
“Whoa whoa whoa! Hey, guys, don’t you think it’s dangerous doing this in the middle of the city at god knows when in the morning!? Haven’t you thought about the problems you’re gonna cause peop—”
Another!!
“Gyaaaaah, shiiiiit!! I, I’ll remember thiiiiss!!” Ryner yelled as he ran away at full speed. It was a tense situation.
But despite the tension, the woman following close behind was talking in that cutesy voice. “Hey, hey, Ryner, listen to meee. See, I really want to eat dango ice cream right now. ♡”
Ryner ignored her and ran.
“Geez! Running alone with you through the town kind of makes it look like we’re on a date, doesn’t it? ♡”
“……”
“Come on, Ryner, look at me! ♡”
“………”
“Hey, hey, Ryner, do you want to hear about my true feelings?”
“…………”
“Um, see, my secret is that I can’t live without you, Ryne—”
“Be quiet alreaaadyyyyy!!” Ryner yelled. He was at his limit and finally turned around to face the distraction.
She was a beauty whose face was absolutely blank despite her sickly sweet tone. Her long golden hair seemed to glitter in the moonlight. She met Ryner’s eyes with clear blue. She had thin, porcelain-like arms and a longsword at the waist that one wouldn’t expect her arms to be able to support.
She was a peerless beauty. Anyone and everyone thought so. She could easily pass as a goddess. Any man would face instant defeat at a love confession from her.
Except.
“Aah ♡ you finally looked at me!”
Except her face was absolutely blank as she said it. Blank enough to bother anyone.
Ryner looked at that beauty - his partner in crime of a couple years now, Ferris Eris. She looked a little embarrassed, her eyes a little wet. Then she spoke in a troubled voice, cute as could be. “Geez… I hate being looked at like that ♡”
Ryner too was instantly defeated. “You reeeaaaaaallly annoy me when you act all cute like that for absolutely no reason.”
His instant defeat was built on the urge to kill her, but that always ended in a particular way, hence the instant defeat.
“And what are you even trying to accomplish with this?” Ryner asked. “Like, what do you want from me? Look around you! There’s attackers to the right! Attackers to the left! And there’s a stupid amount of mages chasing us! I could literally die! So here’s my question! What do you even want me to do in a situation like this!?”
Ferris’ usual emotionless face turned a little red from embarrassment. “It’s because we’re in a situation like this that I want to make sure that you love me. ♡”
“Haaaaaaah? The hell…”
Another attack!
“Gyaaah! See! See!? This isn’t the time for th—”
“I mean, we promised that we’d love each other forever…”
“We never fucking said thaaaat!! Ugh, what are you even—”
Another attack!
“Uhayghaaah! See? See how much this sucks?” Ryner asked. “Why does it suck so bad? Can I even dodge all this magic?”
Ferris completely ignored him. Her eyes sparkled like she was dreaming. “It’s already been ten years since we became lovers—”
“It has not! We only met two years ago! And we’re not dating or anything. Where’s that even coming from? What’re you—”
“But Ryner, you always say it for me… You always say, “I’ll protect you, my beloved Ferris! So I’ll take the lead and be your human meat shie—”
“So that’s what you were leading up to, just like always!” Ryner yelled. But he’d realized too late.
Ferris grabbed him by his shirt and hair from behind. She was still doing her cutsy, embarrassed act.
Ryner, on the other hand, felt like he was going to cry. “Umm, you know that this is impossible, right? I alone can’t fight dozens of them. It’d be way too much of a pain for me. I’m like…”
Ferris fidgeted in feigned bashfulness. “But I was so, so happy… when you said those words to me one fateful night…”
“…Which words?”
“Oh, you know… since you were the one who said them. ‘Even if I’m burnt to a crisp or sliced to mincemeat, I’ll still protect you, Ferris.’”
“I never said thaaatt! That’s way too fucking scary!”
Ferris’ face abruptly returned to its typical blankness. “With that being said, it’s time to say goodbye to your present name. I hereby dub you Mincemeat Lute. It’s your turn on the cutting block.”
“What do you mean, I’m going to the cutting block!? That’s terrifying! You’re joking, right? You have to be j—”
She wasn’t joking. Ferris kicked at Ryner’s legs to unbalance him, then grabbed his arms by the elbows to keep him from struggling, and turned him around to face the mages.
“W, wait!” Ryner said, flustered. “Please! Wait!”
“Yaah!”
“You’re kiddiiiiinnggg!” Ryner yelled as she threw him into the air. He spun around several times midair. He could see the full night sky and the city below. He stared at the scenery for a moment, in a daze, before his eyes settled on the direction he was falling towards.
He was heading straight for the middle of the crowd of screaming mages.
“…Ah, this shit again,” Ryner mumbled to himself. He was used to it by now. He turned in air to look at Ferris, who was running away with incredible speed. “So what’re we gonna do?”
Ferris answered without turning around. “Meet me in the usual place in two hours!”
Ryner wanted to reply ‘wait, we have three usual places, which one?’ but his head hit the ground before he could, so all he could do was make a dumb noise. “Ughau!”
He was soon surrounded by mages.
“Hahaha, your friend left you for dead! How pitiful!”
“You can’t escape now, criminal!”
“Behave while we tie you up!”
“……”
Ryner sat up with a little groan and looked around. It was a pretty serious situation alright. But all he did was shrug, his expression lacking urgency entirely. “Isn’t telling people to behave while you tie them up kinda… corny?”
The man who had said it turned bright red. “Sh, shut uuup!! Don’t talk back to me, you damn criminal!”
“Oh, damn, did I hurt your feelings?” Ryner asked. “Sorry.”
The mage just turned redder. “Y-you think I’d let a criminal make fun of me? I won’t allow that! I got word from above that I can kill you if I want!”
“From above?” Ryner repeated.
“Yes! Make fun of me and I’ll make you hurt!”
“Make me hurt, huh… I didn’t mean to make fun of you though,” Ryner said. He thought of what the mage said just a minute ago and smiled. Not one like he was laughing, though. His bitterness and sadness leaked through.
Criminal.
He called Ryner a criminal.
“…Criminal, huh,” Ryner mumbled to himself. He looked at the mages’ outfits. At the coat of arms displayed on their uniforms. It was a lance surrounded by snakes, the Roland Empire’s coat of arms. Ryner wore the same crest.
Ryner looked down at his own clothes. He was wounded so he wasn’t wearing the chestplate, but his uniform was still a special Roland military uniform featuring white armor and a robe. Only Roland’s Magical Knights were supposed to wear it. Ryner had been given his by Sion Astal, Roland’s king. Or maybe it was better to say that his buddy Sion gave it to him.
Sion had given it to him because it was a durable uniform suited for travel. It was even immune to heat.
“……”
Ryner opened the latches on his shirt to reveal the same crest on himself.
It was really just a little while ago that he and Sion, and even Ferris and their other allies had been working like idiots for the sake of Roland, day after day. They were days full of dumb jokes and laughs and every day was fun.
But now they were calling him a criminal. An escaped prisoner.
“…It’s like.”
Ryner looked around at the mages who had him surrounded. To the curtain of night around them.
“It’s like… the whole world changed in a single moment.”
He looked back up at the mage who seemed to be their commander and thought of what he had said a moment ago.
“I got word from above that I can kill you if I want!”
Word from above. Who was ‘above?’ Some higher-up in the Roland army?
Or…
“…Sion?” Ryner whispered.
That was the kind of situation he was in right now.
The king of this country, Sion, his buddy… had given orders for people to treat him as a criminal and try to kill him.
“……”
Why? Ryner had no idea.
Two weeks ago, on a rainy night just like any other, Sion suddenly appeared before him, crying, and asked Ryner to die. And just like that, their relationship was over. Even though they’d been laughing together that very same day. He didn’t know what Sion had been thinking at all.
He pictured Sion with tears in his eyes, saying he’d kill Ryner.
A strange black sword had appeared. A woman’s hand had sprung from his own chest. The world around them had disappeared. Sion had been wrapped up in darkness, all alone. He couldn’t break free of it. All he could do was smile sadly, and tell Ryner to die while crying.
But in the end, Sion didn’t kill him.
Ryner was in jail when he came to. The world had already changed. It had become so horrible so quickly that it made even Ferris cry.
She told Ryner that Sion had gone mad through tears. She said that he said he killed Ryner while laughing madly. She said that he told her not to come back to the castle again.
This was Sion Astal, the hero king who hated death and wars and loved it when the world was at peace. Apparently he was invading their allies in Imperial Nelpha now, killing their people, their women and children, everyone instead of just fighting their army.
And Sion.
“……”
That very same Sion. Was fanatically endorsed by the people.
They said their true hero king had finally appeared, one that they believed should rule not just Roland, but the whole world. They said that anyone who got in his way should be fought, killed, slaughtered.
“He really…”
Changed.
He pictured Sion’s face. His buddy’s face. But when he did, he was crying. Always crying… and blaming himself.
Sion wasn’t the kind of person who would betray his buddy. He wasn’t someone who could invade other countries with a smile.
Sion always carried a heavy burden on his shoulders, all by himself. He did his best to smile so that no one would notice.
In the end, unable to bear it, Sion had made that sad face as they faced each other in the rain. He cried like he was in pain, like he wanted to be saved.
That was the Sion in his memories. The Sion inside of his memories was always hurt by his own kindness. He was a tragic king.
Ryner looked back to the men in front of him and spoke. “So your higher-ups said it was okay to kill me?”
“Fuahaha, that’s right! What, you finally scared? I’m no demon here. As long as you don’t resist, I’ll only half-kill you before taking you away…”
Ryner stopped paying attention to him halfway. He looked up at the sky, then looked around until he spotted the tallest building in the country: Roland Castle. It was the king’s home, and the place that Ryner, Ferris, and Sion always spent time together, laughing about the dumbest things. That time wasn’t too long ago. But it was impossible to reach now.
It hadn’t even been an hour since Ryner had escaped prison, and already Sion had sent this many mages after him. It was impossible for him to reach the castle like this.
Roland wasn’t the same as before.
“……”
Sion had perfected the vulgar human experiments started in the old, mad Roland so that he could create a powerful army. They’d been strong enough to fight neck and neck with Ryner, who had once been called Roland’s strongest magician.
He had to assume that the castle was being protected by something abnormally strong, too. There was no way that Ryner would be able to get inside there now. So he wouldn’t be able to see Sion again.
Even if his buddy begged Ryner to save him, Ryner was incapable of actually doing so.
Ryner stared up at the castle. “Aww, shit. It’s so far away…”
“Don’t fucking ignore me!” One of the mages yelled.
Ryner ignored him and continued to talk to himself in a whisper. “But no matter how far…”
And no matter if he couldn’t get there now…
“…I’ve decided that I’ll make it there someday,” Ryner said. He gripped the coat of arms on his clothes. It was Roland’s coat of arms - a lance surrounded by snakes, and proof of his affiliation to his country.
He tore it off.
He didn’t care much for wearing the same clothes as the people here anymore.
The fabric itself was sturdy, since it was meant for Magical Knights to wear, but he still tore it up, and then stared at the coat of arms for a moment before tossing it aside.
His world changed completely in that moment. But nobody noticed. Because from the outside, it looked like he’d thrown the crest away with ease.
This was where he’d grown up. Where he’d always been. He’d been called a genius here, and always thought of everything here as a pain. But this was the place where he could save his friends. So he’d be back, even if he was leaving now.
Because he’d come back to stand by his buddy’s side again.
Nobody noticed as he threw his country away for the first time.
“Whatever,” the mage said. “It looks like you plan on resisting, so we’ll be—”
Ryner looked at him with a half-lidded, sleepy expression. “Sorry, but that’s impossible.”
“Hah? What’s impossible?” The mage asked. It was clear from his tone that he was fed up with Ryner.
“Umm, well, it’s like. See, this is pretty out of character for me. I’m not the kind of guy who’s all cheerful and yells stuff like ‘aw yeah, let’s do it!’ or anything. I hate stuff like that, honestly. I’m more the type to go ‘whoa, seriously?’ in a monotone while letting you capture me.
“Wait, so you’re not going to resist—?”
Ryner shook his head. “Well, I’m a little different today. I’m kinda thinkin’ ‘aw yeah, let’s do it!’ but if I jumped up and said just that right now, I have a feeling that this’d all be super annoying to deal with. So I really only want to give you a tiny ‘aw yeah, let’s do it!’” Ryner said. He looked back up at the castle. “Motivationless little Ryner’s gonna do it! What do you think of that, Sion!?”
The mages were confused. “Wh, what are you talking a—”
“I’m telling you that I’m not gonna let you capture me,” Ryner interrupted. “Don’t you know who I am?”
The mages looked at each other. “Wh-who is he?”
“Why is he so sure of himself when we have him surrounded…?”
“Wh-what if he’s dangerous?”
“Qu, quiet!” The man who was probably the commander said. “Don’t let him get to you! What kind of soldier falls for a criminal’s tricks? Why’re you so scared of this tired brat—”
And then the commander was sent flying. Not just him, either. Five more soldiers were soon smacked away, one after another.
Only then did the mages realized what’d happened: Ryner had kicked them up and away with impossible speed. He’d knocked six people away, including the commander.
The mages’ expressions turned to shock with the sudden revelation. “Who the hell is this guy…?”
“K-kill him! He’s somethin’ dangerou—”
Ryner slammed a hand into the probable second-in-command’s neck to knock him out. That ought to collapse their command.
“He g-got deputy too!”
Ryner smiled, then started to run through the gaps in their ranks. He soon heard a voice from behind - probably the third highest ranked guy.
“Don’t break position! W-we only have one enemy! If we call cast magic at once, we should be able to do something—”
Ryner turned around to see them drawing magic circles. A red pentagram rose in his eyes and began to shine. When he looked at their spells, he understood everything about them: their power, structure, activation methods, even the spell he could use to cancel them. He began to draw it in the air.
The mages finished their spells quickly. “I wish for an invasion - Onset Eclipse!”
Ryner finished his countermagic. Dark smoke wafted out towards the soldiers’ magic circles, and when it touched them.
The demon-like faces of the soldiers instantly turned to shock. “Wh, what just…”
It should’ve been impossible! What kind of a monster would Ryner have to be to be able to draw a magic circle fast enough to cancel their attack?
One of the mages looked straight into Ryner’s eyes. He saw the scarlet pentagram, and his expression instantly turned to one of terror. “Ah, he’s an Alpha Stigma bearer! He’s an Alpha Stigma monster!”
That was all it took for each and every one of the soldiers to panic.
That was just how much people hated and feared the sound of the words ‘Alpha Stigma.’
His eyes allowed him to understand all magic with a glance. But they also meant that he could go berserk. When he did, he tried to hurt everyone around him, no matter how much they meant to him as he tried to destroy the world. They were proof that he was a crazy monster.
Sure enough, the mages stared at Ryner as they shivered with fear. “He’s a m-monster!”
Ryner smiled bitterly. “You don’t have to be that scared of me… oh, but actually, if being super afraid of me is gonna make you give up on your chase, then by all means, get even more scared.”
A few of the mages turned tail and ran while screaming about how the monster was going to kill them. But a bunch stood their ground.
“……”
Ryner’s expression turned a little sad. But just a little. He took a deep breath. “Ummm… wahahahah! If you don’t want an Alpha Stigma monster to kill ya, then get running!” He screamed with all his might.
Over half of the soldiers ran off this time. Maybe he should’ve shown them his Alpha Stigma sooner if this was how they were going to react.
Ryner had thought that Sion had all these soldiers standing wait, just in case Ferris broke him out of jail. He thought it’d take all his power to make his way through them and out of the city. But getting rid of them was actually really easy.
Honestly, it would’ve been super easy to fight them off with Ferris here with him. But instead of fighting, they let the soldiers chase them all the way here.
Why? Well, the plan was to have them chase him until they left town. That way, it’d take a while for reinforcements to arrive when the soldiers finally realized they couldn’t win.
But that plan was a complete failure because of that idiot Ferris. That damn dango-loving asshole threw him into the middle of all this so that he’d have to fight them, and these soldiers weren’t weak by any means. Ryner would have to get a bit serious to deal with them, and that meant that he might have to hurt someone. But he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to hurt people from Roland, people he used to consider his allies. So he was doing everything he could to avoid that.
“Well, I guess I did kick some of them already…”
The mages were running away in fear now, but they’d probably call for help as soon as they could. They’d send more powerful enemies to kill him, and they weren’t ready to leave the country yet. They still had some preparations to do.
“Guess it can’t be helped… Better make the best of what I’ve got now,” Ryner said to himself. He grabbed a soldier, who was shaking horribly from fear.
“M-monster! L-l-let me go!!”
“…How scared are you of me…?”
“H, he’s going to kill me! The monster is going to murder meeee!!”
Ryner grimaced.
Monster.
People always called him that.
A monsterous monsterly monster.
Everyone always called him that to hurt him. So eventually he gave up on touching others. Because he was dirty and wasn’t qualified to love others. Because he was cursed and wasn’t qualified to stand by anyone else’s side.
He gave up on everything, absolutely everything, so life became easier. Because as long as he gave up on it all, he wouldn’t hurt others, and others wouldn’t hurt him. It was dark and lonely, but at least it was easy.
And Sion was the one who had forced Ryner out of that darkness.
Ryner met Sion, then Ferris, and they did all sorts of stupid stuff together. Before he knew it, being called a monster didn’t hurt anymore. They had fun together, his heart opened up, and he couldn’t stand being alone anymore.
Yet here Sion was, telling Ryner to return to that loneliness.
Even though Sion had been the one to say something as self-important as ‘come with me,’ in the end Sion cried while carrying everything on his own shoulders, unable to depend on Ryner. He refused to have a real conversation with Ryner, and then had the nerve to say he was sorry.
“Hey, I need you to tell Sion something for me,” Ryner said.
“I’m gonna be murdere—”
“Shut it,” Ryner said and covered the soldier’s mouth with his hand. Tears pricked the corners of the soldier’s eyes. Ryner smiled. “I won’t kill you, okay? I just need you to tell Sion… to tell the king something for me.”
“I would never tell His Majesty the crass words of a crimin—”
“You’ll tell him. See, the truth is that the king’s a real wimp, so this’ll bother him forever if he doesn’t hear it from me. Well, actually, I guess I don’t really care if you tell him or not. I just wanted to have the last word, you know?”
“I-I won’t send a message for a monster—”
“Yeah, well, that’s fine. But I’m gonna tell you to tell him anyway. Tell that idiot Sion…”
Ryner gave the soldier his message, then let him go.
The soldier glared at him. “I-I won’t tell His Majesty about this nonsense, criminal!” He screamed. But that was fine.
Whether he told Sion or not, it wouldn’t change what Ryner was going to do from here on out. So Ryner shrugged, then smiled. “Well, I’m counting on you.”
“Qu-quiet, monst—”
“Yeah, yeah. Go on now. Your friends have pretty much all gotten away already,” Ryner said.
The soldier glared at Ryner for a long moment, then ran.
Ryner watched him, then turned around. “I guess the next round’s gonna be even stronger… I have to prepare, and then get out of here…”
Ryner took a few steps forward, then stopped.
“…Which meeting place am I supposed to meet her at?” Ryner wondered once more.
---
It was terribly dark.
Not in the sense that the lights were off. Sion Astal was sitting alone in the throne room of Roland Castle. He’d been here more often lately, since he had to give many orders for the invasion of Imperial Nelpha to go smoothly.
Countless members of the nobility and many of his subordinates came in and out of this room over the course of a day, but he still felt that it was a dark and lonely place.
There were large windows lined up on either side of the room. Sion looked out one. The sky was lightening to welcome a new day. With the morning sun filtering in through the windows and the magic lamps both, there was no way that the room could actually be dark.
“……”
But it was.
The source of the darkness was the country itself.
That was what the country’s young king who had only just turned twenty thought.
He had noble silver hair and willful golden eyes that stared far ahead - into the future of the country, of their people, of the world.
He stared far ahead, and then made his choice.
Yes. He was the long awaited hero king, the savior of Roland who had brought it from a mad country to the largest country in the Southern Continent.
It had only been two years since he took the throne.
Sion had started as a bastard son of the previous king. Then he accomplished something amazing in the war with Estabul and was promoted through the military, where he eventually grasped control. His power, looks, and charisma garnered the support of the people, allowing him to overthrow the old king with ease.
But he didn’t stop there.
He improved Roland’s unethical practices, took control of the nobility’s tyranny, cut down on waste, increased Roland’s wealth, and moved towards the future with a pace so fast that it almost seemed like the damage his health took from it was intentional.
He always searched for the most correct choice. He always took the path of fewest sacrifices.
Which choice was more correct? Which path was most right? He suffered, cried, and lamented over his options daily, but always believed that there would be light at the end of the tunnel and soldiered on.
Of course his people were delighted when he, an unexpected light, had appeared before them. They were overjoyed that the light to warm the whole world had been born in their country. They wholeheartedly believed that everything would be alright, so long as they left it all in Sion Astal’s hands.
After all, he was their hero king. The flawless light of their country. Sion wasn’t wrong. He couldn’t be wrong. Everyone believed that he was infallible.
And Sion always answered to that expectation. He looked far past the horizon and moved forward without making any mistakes. He always walked the most efficient path of the fewest sacrifices. The most correct path.
So he continued old human experiments. It was for the sake of creating an army stronger than ever before. Because he had to. He had no other choice if he wanted to take the path of fewest sacrifices.
He needed the power to overwhelm the surrounding countries.
He had to invade Imperial Nelpha, which had been their ally, and human experiments were necessary for that to succeed. They were his gambit.
The surrounding countries had become scared of Roland’s ever increasing power. A civil war had occurred in Nelpha as a result of that anti-Roland sentiment, and members of their anti-Roland faction eventually took control of the country.
If Roland hadn’t invaded Nelpha, Nelpha would have invaded Roland.
So Sion made a choice - Roland needed to strike first. If they successfully conquered Nelpha, then other countries would be well aware of their military strength. They’d avoid repeats of unnecessary wars by always having too much of an upper hand.
He had to flaunt Roland’s power. Then they wouldn’t need to fight anymore unnecessary wars. They wouldn’t need to sacrifice anyone they didn’t need to.
That was why he was massacring Nelphans right now. He’d ordered his army to kill even soldiers who had already surrendered. To kill women and children. To kill everyone, no matter what.
He had to show the other countries something to be afraid of. So he ordered his troops to strike so much fear into all who saw that they’d swear to never, ever end up against Roland.
“……”
He ordered them to flaunt Roland’s power. Because if they did, they might be able to lessen the sacrifices, even if only a little. He did it so that everyone would lose their will to fight Roland.
It was a delicate balance. He had to cut down the few to save the many.
His countrymen supported him. They screamed that Roland should show Nelpha, no, the whole world their power with wild enthusiasm. But Sion had manipulated their opinions to bring about that outcome…
“……”
And so he chose the correct path once more. The path of least sacrifice. It didn’t matter if it was a thorny path, or if needles and thorns dug into his heels with every step. He moved forward. He always moved forward.
With every step, the thorns dug into him and drew blood. He had to suppress the urge to cry out and let the tears flow from his eyes. He had to suppress the urge to scream that he wanted to stop. That he didn’t want to take another step.
And in the end… in the end, he even had to sacrifice his friend. No, his buddy.
“……”
But that too was necessary. It was something he had to do in order to keep moving forward.
“………”
Sion closed his eyes, then opened them once more. His vacant eyes stared into nothing. All he could feel was the emptiness of the air.
When he was apart from Ryner, this room—no, the whole world—always felt horribly, horribly dark.
The days he had spent together with Ryner… the days he had spent with Ryner and Ferris, laughing and joking about the stupidest things and roughhousing, had just been so…
So radiant.
Sion had known that it was nothing but a dream, and that it’d come to an end. But he had wanted to live inside of that lie forever.
“……”
It was already gone, though.
An alarm had split the air and told him it was time to wake up and move forward. He’d lose many things, regret many things, and fall into hopelessness. But it was time to move forward, so he had to start moving.
He was pushed forward. He lost and lost and lost.
It didn’t matter how much he screamed that he hated it. The hand on his back always pushed him forward. So he had to keep moving. He didn’t have time to look back. Not even to confirm if the future he was giving everyone was any better than the past…
He had to throw away the past and everything important to himself and move forward, even if he screamed and cried the whole way. He had to grasp the light at the end of the tunnel. Because that was the kind of king he was - a king who never stopped moving forward.
Even if he knew that the only thing on the path before him was emptiness, he still had to…
“…Are you having regrets?” Someone suddenly asked him from the emptiness.
It was Lucile. Lucile Eris. He was the head of the Eris family, which had protected Roland’s kings from the shadows for generations and generations. No… perhaps a more accurate description was that he was a monster-like abomination of a god who seized and coiled around Roland as if to suffocate it.
“…Regrets?” Sion repeated.
Regrets. Of course he had regrets. He constantly wondered if he shouldn’t have done this or that instead, whether it was something major or minor, to the point that they made him want to die.
He wished that he were stronger. He wished that he were smarter. He wondered if there wasn’t something he could have done to keep his mother from dying, or his friends from being killed, or Kiefer from crying, or to protect Ferris.
And Ryner.
Wasn’t there something he could have done to not have to betray him…?
Sion smiled. “What regrets?”
“Haha. How promising.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. You really are amazing,” Lucile said. He suddenly appeared before Sion’s eyes. He had blond hair and an eerily beautiful face. He kept his eyes closed.
Although he ought to resemble Ferris since they were brother and sister, when Sion looked at Lucile, he couldn’t feel that he was similar to Ferris. Yes, they had the same blond hair, the same facial features, and the same beauty, but their insides were completely and totally different. The thing inside of Lucile… the devilishness of him… was completely different from other people.
Probably because Lucile wasn’t a person.
Sion stared at Lucile. “Your praise is such an honor.”
“I’m always praising you.”
“Are you, now.”
“I am.”
“Hm. It must always go in one ear and out the other then,” Sion said. “Since hearing it makes me so very unhappy.”
“You’re horrible,” Lucile said. He showed Sion a smile, but it lacked emotion. It was nothingness itself. Lucile was nothing, empty, to the point that it was terrifying.
“I’m serious,” Sion said to the nothingness. “I won’t be happy about it, even if you praise me.”
Lucile just smiled. “What a shame. I suppose I can’t be Ryner’s replacement, can I?”
Sion didn’t answer.
“I really do think that you’re amazing, though. It’s amazing that you’ve come this far without the hero’s power eating you alive. The previous king - your father - went mad from the hero in no time—”
“He’s not my father,” Sion said.
Lucile shrugged. “Right. That’s right. He isn’t good enough for you to call him your father. You are another level of puppet, even if his blood should flow inside of you. Your siblings are also below you. That’s why I’m grateful to you. To think that such a fine vessel would be born in my generation… to think that it was just some vessel that I first only chose on a whim. Did you get it from your mother? Was your common dog of a mother hiding some amazing powe—”
“…Shut up,” Sion said.
Lucile went quiet for a moment with a smile. But then he continued. “In any case, I’m pleased with you. Because you always make the sane and correct choice, even if it makes you sick with regret.”
Sion looked into Lucile’s beautiful face. “Did you really show yourself just to say that?”
Lucile smiled once more. “That couldn’t be.”
“Then why did you?”
Lucile turned his gaze to the window. It looked like he was watching the castletown outside. He watched it for some time before turning back to Sion. “Ryner ran away.”
Sion’s eyes widened. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d put Ryner in a high-security prison. Even Ryner’s friend… even if Ferris helped, he shouldn’t have been able to get in. Because he’d protected that prison with incredibly powerful soldiers—
“Also, the soldiers are all dead. Duke Lieral Lieutolu killed them all.”
“Shit!”
Duke Lieral Lieutolu was Ryner’s father. He was a noble who should have been long dead, but here he was - a ghost of the old Roland who was always lurking behind the scenes. He was a monster in the same league as Lucile.
“…Why does he have to be so excessive…”
Lucile smiled like he was having fun with this. “Haha. He really is excessive. Even though you finally found a way to study Ryner in order to find a way to save him without making him into a sacrifice… Even if you already killed ten people in experiments for that cause… If you can’t get him back here, then it was all for nothing, wasn’t it?”
“Shut up.”
“It’s annoying that Ryner wants to be somewhere else, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better if he were here in this country, spending time peacefully until the day—”
“Shut up!”
“You must have expected that something like this might happen. That’s why I called you amazing. You suffer and worry yourself sick and even if you sometimes avert your eyes and look to other paths, you always return here in the end. Because you can see too far ahead, you aren’t capable of choosing an incorrect choice. You won’t incorrectly save your friend or incorrectly save someone dying before your eyes. You will lose sight of the things you love—”
“Shut up!!” Sion yelled.
Lucile opened his eyes and stared at Sion, through him, as if his clear blue eyes could see into his core.
Then he smiled as if to make fun of Sion, to pity him, to smile just to smile.
“…What’s wrong, Sion?” Lucile asked. “This ‘shut up’ sounded harsher than the ‘shut up’ from when I made fun of your mother, didn’t it?”
“……”
“…Did you not want to acknowledge it? You are a murderer. You experiment on human beings. Do you not want to acknowledge that you are no longer human yourself? Is that why this makes you so upset?”
“……”
Lucile smiled. “I don’t particularly care if you respond or not. With that aside… what do you plan on doing now? Ryner ran away, after all?”
Sion responded without meeting Lucile’s eyes. “I won’t… do what you want me to do.”
“Mm. I don’t care, but just know that everything you’re doing is pointless, Sion. No matter how many experiments you do, you cannot create a replacement for him. It’s another story if he dies, of course… but you couldn’t kill him. And don’t go saying something selfish like, ‘well, I won’t make either choice then…’”
Lucile’s voice trailed off for a moment, but he didn’t stop. He looked back at Sion and smiled again, then continued.
“…You understand that, too. And you’ve already chosen. You decided to sacrifice him. To have him fall into a depthless sea of despair where he’d sink forevermore. That’s the most efficient course of action. But you worry. Pointlessly worry. You really are human… even though you’ve already stopped being a real human… That is a testament to how human you once were. That’s why you’re amazing. Fine. Do whatever you want. I said so before, didn’t I? The hero is never wrong. Everything you do is right.”
With that, Lucile disappeared.
His body, his presence, his existence itself disappeared. But he was still here. Sion knew that he was.
That was why he called out, “Lucile.”
“What is it, Sion?”
“I… I won’t do what you want me to do,” Sion said.
“Ahaha. You said that earlier, too. And… that’s fine. You came this far… because you already came this far… I won’t stop being your… being the hero’s sword. Use me however you’d like. Use your power however you’d like. Will you cut through the world’s darkness? Or will you use it to wring the last drop of life out of others? To be honest, I don’t care either way.”
Sion looked into the empty space that Lucile had disappeared from.
Would he cut through the world’s darkness, or wring the last drop of life from others?
“…I… I’ll…”
A man entered the throne room. He was a messenger tasked with communication between Sion and the army fighting Nelpha. His presence meant that something had happened on the front lines.
“Your Majesty,” the messenger said and kneeled.
Sion nodded. “Raise your head.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Did something happen in Nelpha?”
The messenger shook his head. “No, it’s here in Reylude…”
Reylude was Roland’s capital city, the town that came to be around Roland Castle. In all likelihood, it was… “…It’s about Ryner Lute, then.”
The messenger’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Y-yes, sir.”
“Did he get away?”
“Yes. I apologize.”
“There’s no reason for you to apologize,” Sion said. “He scattered his pursuers, and now they need back-up, right?”
“The reinforcements are also…”
Sion’s eyebrows shot up. “He drove them all away?”
“Yes…”
“So you’re telling me that they went after Ryner Lute before I ordered them to?” Sion asked.
“…Yes.”
“Who did it? Who sent them after him?”
“Major Rahel Miller.”
“Miller?” Sion repeated. He couldn’t help but smile bitterly at the sound of that name. Miller was the secret mastermind between the revolution that had put Sion into power, after all. He was a sharp, cool-headed man who patiently approached his goals at the most appropriate pace, and never let his emotions get in the way of his work.
Miller had already done nearly everything for the revolution to be successful by the time he met Sion. He had excellent soldiers, a plan to win the people’s support, and information to threaten the nobility with.
The revolution went smoothly, exactly as Miller planned. He changed the world.
It wasn’t an over-exaggeration to say that Miller was the man with the most power over Roland’s army. But he didn’t aspire to rule. No, Miller was someone who had chosen to stay close to the ground and protect the country from the same level as its people.
And that very man had ordered troops to pursue Ryner without Sion’s authorization.
“…What did Miller say?” Sion asked.
“To capture the runaway, dead or alive.”
Dead or alive… so he had given the troops permission to kill Ryner, had he.
But the odd part was that the troops had been defeated. Miller knew how strong Ryner really was, but he still sent inadequate troops to be defeated. Why?
“……”
To make this messenger take longer to report back to Sion.
If Sion had heard of Ryner’s escape the moment he broke out of prison, he could have responded appropriately and recaptured him. But Miller intercepted just enough to allow Ryner to escape.
But why would Miller want Ryner to get away?
Sion had heard that Miller and Ryner were acquainted, but that was no reason for Miller to allow Ryner to get away. He wasn’t the kind of man to let his personal feelings get in the way like that. Miller acted meaningfully, not emotionally.
So why did he do it?
Sion could think of two possibilities.
One: Miller wanted Ryner to leave so that Sion didn’t obsess over researching him and trying to find a way to save him. It was impossible for Sion to spend too long observing Ryner if he wasn’t there to observe, after all.
Two: Miller already knew that Sion would have to devour Ryner, as a necessary sacrifice for the Mad Hero to become whole, and intended to kill Ryner before the fact.
The first option was more likely. Miller was a genius, sure, but even he shouldn’t have the information to reach the second conclusion.
The only people in Roland now who knew about the changes Sion’s body had undergone were Sion himself, Lucile, and Froaude.
Lucile’s family was in charge of the strings tying Sion’s family to the darkness. But if Lucile ever judged that Sion was no longer suitable for his role, he’d ensure that Sion never opened his eyes again.
Only three people knew of Sion’s true form. And none of them would ever leak that information.
But it was possible that Miller meant to catch Ryner himself to force information out of Sion.
That wasn’t necessary, though. Sion felt that Miller was someone he could trust that information with - he could tell him why he had imprisoned Ryner, and why he was bringing human experimentation back.
He could tell him.
“……”
He could tell him… why Sion had stopped being human… couldn’t he?
He could tell him why the world was wavering, creaking, distorting.
And… he could tell him about the true form of the mad goddesses.
Miller was capable of understanding it all. He’d likely cooperate. He might even let Sion promote him to the upper ranks of the military and become a major boon to Sion.
That’d solve the Miller problem. Then he’d just be left with the Ryner problem.
He had to capture Ryner alive. But who could he trust with that duty…?
The messenger opened his mouth. “Umm…”
“It’s fine,” Sion said. “I understand the issue with both Ryner and Miller and will deal with them myself.”
The messenger shook his head. “No, er, that is not the reason I came here.”
“Hm?” Sion raised his head and looked at the messenger, who had a lost expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”
The messenger pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “I was uncertain of whether such nonsense should even reach Your Majesty’s hands, but…”
“Hmm?”
“It is a message from the runaway criminal. He said to give it to Your Majesty.”
Sion’s mind went blank for a moment. His vision blanked, too, as if all the blood vessels in his body clenched up at those words. “A message… from Ryner?”
The messenger nodded.
Sion was paralyzed in place. Because betraying Ryner was just such a dirty feeling. He’d always been on Ryner’s side, always looked at him like they were allies. He told Ryner to come with him and said that he’d protect him, and look how easily he changed his tone!
He thought of the face Ryner made in that moment. He’d half-smiled, and almost cried from loneliness. But he’d already given up, so the tears never fell.
Sion had said that he’d kill Ryner, but Ryner still called him his buddy.
Sion said that he’d betray Ryner, but Ryner said that he wouldn’t give up on him. That he’d live without letting Sion kill him just so he could save him. Ryner said that he’d bring Sion back, no matter where he was.
Even though Sion said that it was over. Even though Sion said that he’d betray Ryner.
Ryner still held out his hand and yelled with all his might that he’d never give up on Sion. His expression had been so stupidly honest.
“…Come with me, Sion.”
Ryner’s words echoed through Sion’s head.
That alone was enough to make Sion want to cry. It made him want to scream - why was he here now? Why was the world always, always this horrible?
Ryner wanted to save him so, so badly. And how did Sion repay him? By failing to kill him in order to save him. Instead he chose to damn Ryner to an eternity at the deepest point of darkness. He sold his buddy out so that he could keep moving forward, forward, forward.
Sion betrayed Ryner in every way imaginable, but still said that he had to keep moving forward.
“……”
And now a message from Ryner had landed before him. It was probably a letter meant to curse Sion, and criticize the way he went about things. No… it had to be. Because if it was anything else, Sion wouldn’t be able to bear it.
The messenger approached and gave the letter to Sion. “Ryner Lute captured a soldier and gave him a verbal message, which was transcribed into this letter. I have not read it, of course. Aside from the soldier who heard and transcribed it, nobody has heard it… I felt that would be best…”
Sion opened the envelope and began to read. But he soon stopped and addressed the messenger. “You’re dismissed. I will call you back later.”
“Understood.” The messenger bowed, then left.
Sion waited until the messenger was out of sight, then took a deep breath to steel his nerves. To ensure that his weak heart didn’t lead him off his path a second time. Then he exhaled and lowered his eyes to the letter.
Uh, umm, so… uh, it’s like, you know? I’m mentally preparing myself. Don’t tell him this part. Umm, cough, right, I’ll start like…
To Lord Sion.
Oh, but maybe I don’t need the ‘lord’ part? okay, w, wait, I’m starting from the beginning again. Sorry.
Okay.
To Sion.
Formal’s too much of a pain so I’m gonna with how I normally talk, okay? Normal it is.
I, um, well. I was already dead for a long time. I was living dead. I’m a monster, a monster who just hurts other people, so I couldn’t be near others or love them, so there was no meaning in my life. That’s all I ever thought about. I’d given up on everything.
So uh, that’s how I died even though I was still alive. I was technically alive, but everything was just… there, y’know? It was like my brain was made of cotton, and every single day I thought I’d be better off dead. Aw, what am I saying? Oh, well. Let’s just move on.
So anyway, what I’m trying to say is…
Umm. Cough. Well, basically… You saved me. You saved me from my own thoughts.
I’m always… always grateful to you for that. Maybe you couldn’t see it, but I’ve always been grateful to you. So I wanted to do something for you in return. I was always thinking of what I could do for you.
That’s why, even though I don’t know what you’re wrapped up in now, I know that I’m going to come to you.
I told you, didn’t I? Back on that rainy day, I said I’d never give up on you, and I meant it. I’m going to come to you and save you.
I’m going to save you. I became a little motivated just for that. And we’re talking about widdle ol’ me, who exists just to erase the word ‘motivation’ from the dictionary! I’m yellin’ ‘yeah, let’s do this!’ right at your castle!
You can hear me, right? You’re laughing, right? It’ll probably snow tomorrow. Yeah, definitely.
So, boring and shitty jokes aside, I’m thinking I’m gonna head on over to you. But I don’t know how strong I’ll need to be to actually make it to you, so I’m gonna get everything I might need first.
I’m gonna need you to prepare yourself and wait for me in the meantime, ‘cause I’m going to make you regret not killing me.
You’re a selfish guy who’s always taking care of everything himself to the point that you’re crying, and I’m gonna come see you.
And I’m… I’m gonna make you say that I’m the best buddy you’ve ever had.
…Hey, wait, why’d you write everything? Why’d you write that I coughed? And I told you to start a second time, so why’d you include the first bit!?
Ugh, you’re so annoying. You’re gonna rewrite it later, right?
Also, it’s a letter, so why’re you writing the parts where I tell you what to write or not…? And you don’t have to keep writing this part either… How do you even write that fast…? auuuugh what the hell are you doing!! Why’re you writing all this!? Augh, well, whatever. This is getting to be a pain, and I’m still being chased, so just give him this.
Um, as for the end, uh.
From your buddy Ryner Lute. To Sion Ass-tal—don’t address His Majesty like that!
Hey, why’re you writing what you’re saying too!? It’s my message! Also, how come you look way more confident when it’s on paper…? Man… I’m starting to get really tired… Umm, yeah, that’s good. I’m ending it, okay? This is the end. Give it to Sion for me. Got it?
“……”
Sion finished reading the letter.
“…What was he doing?” Sion wondered. He couldn’t help but smile. The letter was just so stupid. The tension that’d grown so thick inside of him since he last saw Ryner relaxed all at once.
“…Idiot,” Sion said. Tears had begun to fall down to his smile. “He’s so stupid. How is he always…”
He couldn’t say another word. He’d betrayed Ryner so horribly, but here Ryner was, still talking to him like always. He said that he’d make Sion call him the best buddy he ever had…
But he already thought that.
“…You’re far, far better of a friend than I ever was, Ryner,” he said, his voice hoarse.
If possible, he’d like to apologize. He wanted to tell Ryner that he was his best buddy as soon as he could. He wanted to tell him that he wanted to laugh about the dumbest things with him forever. He wanted to tell Ryner that they were going to do pull an all-nighter together just to watch Ryner scream and run away, then catch him and force him to work forever.
Somehow, despite how much Ryner said he hated it, he always ended up helping out in the end. And sometimes they’d go to the roof and watch the sky together. And sometimes they’d eat dango with Ferris and laugh together about nothing important at all.
If he could only have those days back, Sion would gladly throw the rest of the world to the wolves. That’s what he thought. He thought it deeply.
“……”
But a thought was all it was, in the end.
One could only dream inside of their dreams.
It didn’t matter if he was crying or not. He had to keep staring straight ahead and moving forward. He couldn’t look back. He had to face the future.
That was the kind of king he was, after all.
“……”
His tears had already dried up. His expression was blank. He molded it into a perfect smile - the smile of an unwavering, flawless king. He raised his head and called the messanger back.
The messenger arrived to take his message.
“…Call Froaude. Have him find Ryner Lute… no,” Sion said, and paused for a moment before continuing. “Have him apprehend the runaway who betrayed Roland.”
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no subject
Date: 2020-12-16 03:25 pm (UTC)